MRS. GRAMMAR’S BALL.
Mrs. Grammar she gave a ball
To the nine different parts of speech;
To the big and the small,
To the short and the tall,
There were pies, plums and puddings for each.And first little Articles came,
In a hurry to make themselves known –
Fat A, An and The,
But none of the three,
Could stand for a minute alone.Then Adjectives came to announce
That their dear friends the Nouns were at hand –
Rough, Rougher and Roughest,
Tough, Tougher and Toughest,
Fat, Merry, Good-natured and Grand.The Nouns were indeed on their way –
Ten thousand and more I should think;
For each name that we utter –
Shop, Shoulder and Shutter –
Is a Noun, Lady, Lion and Link.The Pronouns were following fast
To push the Nouns out of their places;
I, Thou, You and Me,
We, They, He and She,
With their merry, good-humored old faces.Some cried out “Make way for the Verbs!”
A great crowd is coming in view –
To bite and to smite,
And to light, and to fight,
To be, and to have, and to do.The Adverbs attend on the Verbs,
Behind them as footmen they run;
As thus: “To fight badly,
They runaway gladly,
Shows how fighting and running were done.Prepositions came — In, By and Near,
With Conjunctions, a poor little band,
As “either you or me,
But neither them nor he” –
They held their great friends by the hand.Then with a Hip, hip, hurrah!
Rushed Interjections uproarious –
“Oh, dear! Well a day!“
When they saw the display.
“Ha! ha!” they all shouted out, “glorious!“But, alas, what misfortunes were nigh!
While the fun and the feastings pleased each,
They pounced in at once
A monster — a DUNCE,
And confounded the nine parts of speech.Help, friends! to rescue! on you
For aid Noun and Article call –
Oh give your protection
To poor Interjections,
Verb, Adverb, Conjunction and all!
The Golden Era (San Francisco, California) – Jan 22, 1865
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Image from:
Title: American Dancing Master, and Ball-Room Prompter: Containing About Five Hundred Dances
Author: Elias Howe
Publisher: E. Howe, 1866
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