Teacher – And so we find that heat expands things, and cold contracts them. Can anyone give me an example of this?
Bright Student – Yes, ma’am. The days are longer in summer.
* * * * *
If somebody else is doing your thinking, it’s very likely you are doing somebody else’s working.
* * * * *
Father – So you know as much as the teacher, do you? Where did you get that idea?
Son – She told me herself. She said she couldn’t teach me anything.
* * * * *
A Man Speaking — That brother of mine is sure smart. He’s only sixteen but he’s been clear through Reform school.
Sheboygan Press (Sheboygan, Wisconsin) Oct 27, 1930
Teacher — Really, Johnny, your handwriting is terrible. You must learn to write better.
Johnny — Well, if I did, you’d be finding fault with my spelling.
Sheboygan Press (Sheboygan, Wisconsin) Oct 30, 1930
Teacher – Parse the sentence, “Bill married Mary.”
Pupil – Bill’s a noun because he’s the name of something; because it joins Bill to Mary, married is therefore a conjunction, and Mary’s a verb, because she governs the noun.
* * * * *
Teacher – And now will someone please give me a sentence using the word “candor”?
Bright Boy in Front Seat – My daddy had a pretty stenographer in his office, but after mother saw her, he candor.
Sheboygan Press (Sheboygan, Wisconsin) Nov 5, 1930
Mother – What did my little girl learn in school today?
Betty Jean – Oh, mother, do I have to educate you all over again?
Sheboygan Press (Sheboygan, Wisconsin) Nov 11, 1930
Teacher — Johnny, can you tell me what a hypocrite is?
Johnny – Yes, ma’am. It’s a boy that comes to school with a smile on his face.
* * * * *
A small boy was asked to write an essay in as few words as possible on two of life’s greatest problems. He wrote: “Twins.”
Sheboygan Press (Sheboygan, Wisconsin) Nov 20, 1930
TRY IT, AND SEE
Teacher – What is half of eight, Frank?
Frank – Which way, teacher?
Teacher – What do you mean, which way?
Frank – On top, or sideways?
Teacher (bewildered) – What difference does it make?
Frank – Well, half of the top of eight is zero, but half of eight sideways is three.
Sheboygan Press (Sheboygan, Wisconsin) Mar 23, 1931
Tags: 1930, 1931, Humor, School Humor
