The Dude

Image from Banburyshire

THE DUDE.

“What is the dude, papa?” she said,
With sweet, inquiring eyes,
And to the knowledge-seeking maid
Her daddy thus replies:

“A weak mustache, a cigarette,
A thirteen-button vest,
A curl-rim hat — a minaret –
Two watch chains cross the breast.

A pair of bangs, a lazy drawl,
A lack-a daisy air –
For gossip at the club or ball,
Some little past “affair.”

Two pointed shoes, two spindle shanks
Complete the nether charms,
And follow fitly in the ranks
The two bow-legged arms.

An empty head, a buffoon’s sense,
A posing attitude,
“By Jove!” “Egad!” “But aw!” “Immense!”
All these make up the dude.”

The Landmark (Statesville, North Carolina) May 11, 1883

The Merchant

Image from the Needham Historical Society

THE MERCHANT.

Tare and tret,
Gross and net,
Box and hogshead, dry and wet,
Ready-made,
Of every grade,
Wholesale, retail, will you trade?

Goods for sale,
Roll or bale,
Ell or quarter, yard or nail,
Will you buy?
Come and buy –
None can sell so cheap as I.

Thus each day
Wears away,
And his hair is turning grey!
He nightly looks
O’er his books,
Counts his gains and bolts his locks!

By and b y
He must die,
But the ledger book on high
Will unfold
How he sold,
How he got and used his gold.

Richland County Observer (Richland Center, Wisconsin) May 13, 1856