The Dude

Image from Banburyshire

THE DUDE.

“What is the dude, papa?” she said,
With sweet, inquiring eyes,
And to the knowledge-seeking maid
Her daddy thus replies:

“A weak mustache, a cigarette,
A thirteen-button vest,
A curl-rim hat — a minaret –
Two watch chains cross the breast.

A pair of bangs, a lazy drawl,
A lack-a daisy air –
For gossip at the club or ball,
Some little past “affair.”

Two pointed shoes, two spindle shanks
Complete the nether charms,
And follow fitly in the ranks
The two bow-legged arms.

An empty head, a buffoon’s sense,
A posing attitude,
“By Jove!” “Egad!” “But aw!” “Immense!”
All these make up the dude.”

The Landmark (Statesville, North Carolina) May 11, 1883

Bachelors

Image from Gentlemen’s Emporium

BACHELORS.

As lone clouds in Autumn eves,
As a tree without its leaves,
As a shirt without its sleeves –
Such are Bachelors.

As creatures of another sphere,
As things that have no business here,
As inconsistencies, ’tis clear,
Such are Bachelors.

When, lo, as souls in fabled powers,
As being born for happier hours,
As butterflies on favored flowers,
Such are married men.

Hillsdale Whig Standard (Hillsdale, Michigan) Jul 14, 1846