Tattling Made Easy

tattler1933

From the Catskill Recorder.

Messrs. Editors — Assiduously persevering in my great literary undertaking, I now enclose to you the contents of my third work, recently finished, in hopes that merely, the heads of the chapters will give such a view of the performance, as will produce a rapid sale, and entitle it to universal approbation.

“TATTLING MADE EASY;
OR, THE ART OF SLANDER.
INTRODUCTION.

Vast importance of the subject, especially in this rapidly improving nation — Advantages which we possess for this business over all other nations, owing to our extreme liberty, popular government, &c. Various inducements laid down, as the pleasures of the employment, its hostility to idleness, its happy effect, &c.

CHAPTER I.

Things to be avoided by those who would become renowned in this important vocation. All authority and regulation in the family — Any considerable degree of learning — All writers of any celebrity, for they teach other doctrine, the Bible in particular — Love for neighbors and peace — Respect for one’s own character, or the character of one’s family — Attention to one’s own affairs.

CHAPTER II.

Things to be acquired by a Tattler.
Volubility of tongue — A hearing ear — Sound lungs — Strong ancles — A spirit of inquisitiveness — A constant desire of verbal emission — Delight in thunder-storms — A retentive memory — A genius for invention.

CHAPTER III.

The art of destroying the peace of a family. Become familiar with them — Ganin their confidence — Learn their foibles — Discover their separate interests — Learn who is friendly to some of them, and at enmity with some other of them — Prepared for a shot.

CHAPTER IV.

To destroy the peace of a society. Be extremely friendly with every family — Visit often — Drink strong tea — Talk much — Invariably report in one family every thing that will answer your purpose, which you hear in the others — Misrepresent a little — Add a little.

ARTICLE V.

To ruin a character. It will generally answer to tell all that is true — Otherwise, invent; but talk in a mysterious, in direct manner — Express great concern for the person’s welfare.”

WISEACRE.

Republican Compiler (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Apr 7, 1819

**Removed a link that was no longer good.

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