1860: Woman with a Weapon – 1870: Wit

Image from Library of Congress

Image from Library of Congress

Rather Strong.

WE find the advertisement below in the Jackson Express. It requires no comment, but surely does not speak well for the town:

NOTICE

IS HEREBY GIVEN, to all gentlemen, (and those who are not) not to insult me, by word, look, or actions, on the street, or elsewhere. If they do, I will kill them, as I always go armed.

MRS. A.C. TILTON.

The Portsmouth Times (Portsmouth, Ohio) Jun 9, 1860

foppish

“How are you, Broom?” asked a bluff old sailor of a fop, who was always annoyed unless addressed as Mr. Broom, and who responded, “I’d have you to know, sir, that I’ve a handle to my name.”

“Oh, all right, how are you Broomhandle?”

Bad Weather Spell

Bad Weather Spell

“FIRST class in spelling, stand up. John, spell weather.”

“W-e-a-i-j-o-u-t-h-a-j-o-u-r.”

“Well, John, you can sit down; that is certainly the worst spell of weather we have had for a long time.”

Trinity Bell

Trinity Bell

Image from PHOTO NOTES Blog

A WOULD-BE wit asked his old uncle if the tolling of a bell did not put him in mind of his latter end?

“No, sir,” he replied; “but the rope puts me in mind of yours.”

The Portsmouth Times (Portsmouth, Ohio) Jan 29, 1870

ODDS AND ENDS

EAR achers — Our corn fields.

“THE religious difficulty” — long sermons.

STUDDING improves the fair as well as the fowl.

LABOR in vein — the circulation of the blood.

MEN who take things as they come a-long — thieves.

A bird that goes with the wind — the weathercock.

A “GREEN GROCER” is described as “one who trusts.”

A good rule — Back your friends and face your enemies.

A SOCIAL glass to which ladies are addicted — the mirror.

A touching incident always remembered — the first kiss.

A GIRL that lost her last beau may as well hang up her fiddle.

HE who laughs when he is alone, will make sport in company.

LAW is the bouy of the good citizen — the rock of the bad one.

WHY is the letter A like a honeysuckle — BECAUSE a B follows it.

AN obliging class of men — Auctioneers, who attend to every one’s bidding.

DON’T go to church with a cough and disturb the rest of the congregation.

A nursery must be a great place for dancing — it is generally a regular bawl room.

“WHO will care for mother now?” has been translated into both French and Prussian.

THERE is a poor fellow at Bangor who says it’s working between meals that’s killing him.

MAN may be a worm; but a glance at the dandies proves that he is not the worm that never dyes.

LIFE sometimes hangs by a single thread but not long. Hemp and fifteen minutes does the business.

The Portsmouth Times (Portsmouth, Ohio) Sep 10, 1870

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