Archive for March 3rd, 2010

Out West: Justice – Old and New

March 3, 2010

Image from Wiki

Out West.

Firm in our belief in justice in the wild and woolly west,
Though opinions sometimes differ as to what plan serves it best,
Bill Green stole a horse in times past; then some fellows took a rope
And rode off in Bill’s direction at a rather rapid lope.
Later, the recording angel took a pen and, writing, read:
“Bill Green stole a horse this morning.”
Ten p.m. “Bill Green is dead.”

Times have changed. Out here last summer a chap known as “Half-breed Dan”
Was seen leading a black broncho from the barn of William Van.
He was tried by judge and jury — there were lawyers, half a score —
From sixteen to eighteen people took the stand and thusly swore:
“That beyond all doubting, truly, their friend Daniel was insane;
“That his father had an uncle who was ‘Dippy,’ back in Maine.”

Then to make the case more solid, someone took another tack;
Swore his mother’s second cousin was a kleptomaniac.
Then they proved by half a dozen that friend Dan was nowhere nigh,
They’d established in ten minutes a strong, first-class alibi.
Then, that of Dan’s perfect virture no one could have any doubt,
Proved the horse was never stolen; that the beast somehow “got out.”
While the tired recording angel — writing swiftly, with a frown
Tried to give the proper credit for the lies he jotted down,
Sneered some at our so-called justice, “All this trouble and expense
To adjust what once was settled with a rope that cost then cents.”
For the most distressing feature is that this new-fangled plan
Settles absolutely nothing — we still have the same old Dan.

— Minnie C.D. Smith, in the National Magazine.

The Carroll Herald – Sep 10, 1913

Just Among Us Girls

March 3, 2010

Humor for girls, written/illustrated by a boy, haha.