Puns on the Poets

Puns on the Poets.

Very fast indeed — Swift.

Worn on the head — Hood.

A lady’s garment — Spencer.

A slang exclamation — Dickens.

An interesting pain — Akenside.

Belongs to a monastery — Abbott.

Pilgrims kneel to kiss him — Pope.

A young domestic animal — Lamb.

The value of a word — Wordsmith.

To agitate a weapon — Shakespeare.

A sick place of worship — Church-ill.

Vital part of the human body — Harte.

Make amends for others — Makepeace.

A bearer built by an edible — Cornwall.

A worker in precious metals — Goldsmith.

What an oyster is apt to be — Shelly.

Small talk and large weight — Chatterton.

An American manufacturing town — Lowell.

Humpbacked, but not deformed — Campbell.

I can’t describe its pains and stings — Burns.

Roast beef, what are you doing? — Browning.

A disagreeable fellow at one’s foot — Bunyun.

A French preposition and an enemy — DeFoe.

An officer in an English university — Proctor.

Brighter and smarter than any one — Sparks.

One who is more than a sandy shore — Beecher.

What are you apt to do when sleepy — Press-cot.

A lion’s home is a place without water — Dryden.

Depicts the dwellings of civilized men — Holmes.

A chain of hills containing a dark measure — Cole-ridge.

A fraction in currency and the height of fashion — Milton.

Which is the greatest poet, Shakespeare or Tupper? — Will-is.

Not one of the points of the compass, but inclines to it — South-ey.

A ten footer, whose name begins with fifty — L-ongfellow.

A common domestic animal, and what it cannot do — Cow-per.

A well known game, and a male of the human species — Tenny-son.

What a rough man said to his son when teaching him to eat properly — Chaucer.

All is youthful, you see, but ‘twixt you and me, he was never much of a chicken — Young.

Each human hair in turn ’tis said,
Will turn to him tho’ he be dead — Grey.

Mamma is in good health, my child,
And thus she named the poet mild — Mother-well.

New York Express.

Kentucky New Era – Dec 11, 1874

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