The Knittin’ Needle and the Two Yolked Egg

An Old Story Retold.

Chicago News.

“Bill wuz old Jedge Hiram Cadwell’s oldest boy — you recollect the Cadwells — used to live on the toll road near the cemetery. Old Jedge Cadwell wuz about ez shif’less a man ez I ever see, but Bill had a great bizness head — calc’late he must hev inherited it from his mother, who come from the finest stock in Hampshire county. when he wuz a boy Bill wuz always tradin’ an’ swoppin’, an’ I s’pose he started out in life with more jackknives than’d stock a store. An’ Bill preserved in manhood all them talents which he exhibited in youth. Whenever you met a man ‘at looked ez if he’d been run through a sieve you’d feel mighty safe in bettin’ that he’d been havin’ business dealins with Bill Cadwell.

“One day Bill came into Eastman’s store an’ allowed as how he’d be powerful glad to git a knittin’ needle — his wife wanted one, he said.

“‘Mr. Cadwell,’ sez Eastman, ‘a knittin’ needle will cost you jest one cent.’

“Bill looked kind uv surprised like, an’ sez, ‘Knittin’ needles must hev gone up sence I come in for one last winter.’

“‘Wall,’ sez Eastman, ‘after payin’ freight an’ one thing an’ another I can’t afford to let knittin’ needles go for less ‘n a cent apiece.’

“Bill didn’t say anything for a minnit or two, but after lookin’ out uv the door at the scenery he turnt round an’ sez: — ‘Look here, Mr. Eastman, I tell you what I’ll do; I’ll trade you an egg for a knittin’ needle.’

“Eastman shook his head. ‘Why not?’ sez Bill. ‘You don’t suppose ‘at a darned old knittin’ needle is worth as much ez an egg, do ye?’

“‘I never heerd uv anybody payin’ freight on hens,’ sez Eastman; he wuz the most sarcastic cuss in the township, Eastman was.

“‘No, nor I never heerd uv feedin’ knittin’ needles,’ sez Bill. ‘It don’t cost nothin’ to raise knittin’ needles.’

“Well, Bill an’ Eastman argued an’ argued for more’n an hour about hens an’ knittin’ needles an’ things, until at last Eastman give in an’ sez” — ‘Well, I s’pose I might jest ez well swop ez not, although I hate to let anybody get the advantage uv me.’ so Eastman give Bill the knittin’ needle and Bill give Eastman the egg.

“But when Bill got to the door he turned round an’ come back again an’ sez: — ‘Mr. Eastman, isn’t it the custom for you to treat when you’ve settled with a customer? You an’ me hev had our dispute, but we’ve come to a settlement and an understandin’. Seems to me it would be the handsome thing for you to treat.’

“Eastman didn’t see it in just that light, but Bill hung on so an’ wuz so concillatin’ that finally Eastman handed out a tumbler an’ the bottle o’ Medford rum.

“‘I don’t want to seem particular,’ sez Bill, pourin’ out half a tumber full uv the liquor, ‘but I like to take my rum with an egg in it.’

“Now, this came pretty near breakin’ Eastman’s heart. He hed laid the egg on a shelf  behind the counter, an’ he reached for it, an’ handed it to Bill, sayin’, ‘Wall, I’m in for it, an’ there’s no use uv kickin’.’

“Bill broke the egg into the rum, an’ lo an’ behold, it was a double yolk egg! Gosh Bill was excited.

“‘Mr. Eastman,’ sez he, ‘you’ve been a takin’ an advantage over me.’

“‘How so?’ asked Eastman.

“‘Why, this egg has two yolks.’

“‘What uv that?’ sez Eastman.

“‘Well, simply this,’ sez Bill, ‘that if you’re inclined to do the fair thing you’ll hand me over another knittin’ needle.'”

The Landmark (Statesville, North Carolina) Nov 8, 1888

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