A Fonetic Spell




A Fonetic Spell.

If awl the wurds we hav tu uze wer speld the proper wa
Just haf the time we spend in wurk might be enjoid in pla,
for wot we’d save in riting and in lurning how to spel
Wood be enuf tu giv us welth and hours uv eze as wel.

We awl wood no how tu pronounce a wurd at wunc on site
And never hav tu think for fere we wood not sa it rite;
and az for dikshunareze, wi, tha’d be no uce at awl
Except tu tel the menings uz the wurds that now appawl.

We never wood be laft at for pronunsheashunz rwong
Nor errors in our speling wich sumtimes are very strawng,
And reeding wood be ezee so that books uv sienc hi
Cood kwikly be dijested like a pece uv mother’s pi.

Altho this proper spelling ma seem funne, we wil sa
It’s not wun haf az funne az the stile in uce to-day;
Just notis wot is printed and I ges u wil agre
That thare iz nuthing kwerer for a kritik’s I tu se.

It iz a fakt undowted that our Inglish langwage brakes
Mor forrin tungs than awl the rest and that it awlso takes
Big hedz tu comprehend it. That’s the rezon wi so fu
Frum other kuntreze tawk it in a plezing wa tu u.

Thare izn’t enne kwestshun that the hole wurld sune wood c
Itz overwhelming benefitz and happalee agre
Tu make it universal, wich wood end the worz we hate,
And bring on the milleneum for wich good pepel wate.

The wurds that end “o-u-g-h” no more wood puzzel fokes;
Tipe-setting wood be plezenter than kraking funne jokes;
And awl the girl tipe-riters cood assist thare ma’s at home
For men cood rite the letters — kwite az ezee az this pome.

— Drover’s Journal.

Carroll Sentinel (Carroll, Iowa) Jun 1, 1899


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