Archive for March 25th, 2011

How Hayseed Bought a Watch

March 25, 2011

Image from the Living Archives (Canada)


When Farmer Hayseed struck the oil
He sold his farm, and with its soil
Still clinging to his gaiters brown,
He gayly took a trip to town.

Inside a jeweler’s shop he strayed,
And there one hundred dollars paid
For a gold watch, which he next day
Took back to get one twice as gay.

“Good mornin’,” grinned old Hayseed to
The jeweler; “how du yeou du?
I guess I’ll change this turnip for
Thet one that costs a hundred more.”

The salesman, with a smiling face,
Took back the watch and gave in place
The one of double cost. “Hello!”
He cried, as Hayseed turned to go.

“I want a hundred dollars more
Before I let you leave my store.”
Old Hayseed tipped a knowing wink’
“Wa-al, neow, young man, I’m green, you think.

“B’gosh! I hain’t; I’ll let you see
Yeou can’t play bunko onto me.
Didn’t I give yeou yesterday
One hundred dollars cash in pay?
“And hain’t this watch thet I brought back
A hundred more? Jehosaphat!
Don’t one and one make two? Some fools
Hain’t much on figgerin’ out of schools.”

The jeweler scratched his puzzled head;
“That’s so — you’re right,” he slowly said;
And beggin’ pardon for his doubt,
He let the mad old farmer out.

— H.C. Dodge in Chicago Sun.

Newark Daily Advocate (Newark, Ohio) Apr 16, 1890