How Hayseed Bought a Watch

Image from the Living Archives (Canada)


When Farmer Hayseed struck the oil
He sold his farm, and with its soil
Still clinging to his gaiters brown,
He gayly took a trip to town.

Inside a jeweler’s shop he strayed,
And there one hundred dollars paid
For a gold watch, which he next day
Took back to get one twice as gay.

“Good mornin’,” grinned old Hayseed to
The jeweler; “how du yeou du?
I guess I’ll change this turnip for
Thet one that costs a hundred more.”

The salesman, with a smiling face,
Took back the watch and gave in place
The one of double cost. “Hello!”
He cried, as Hayseed turned to go.

“I want a hundred dollars more
Before I let you leave my store.”
Old Hayseed tipped a knowing wink’
“Wa-al, neow, young man, I’m green, you think.

“B’gosh! I hain’t; I’ll let you see
Yeou can’t play bunko onto me.
Didn’t I give yeou yesterday
One hundred dollars cash in pay?
“And hain’t this watch thet I brought back
A hundred more? Jehosaphat!
Don’t one and one make two? Some fools
Hain’t much on figgerin’ out of schools.”

The jeweler scratched his puzzled head;
“That’s so — you’re right,” he slowly said;
And beggin’ pardon for his doubt,
He let the mad old farmer out.

— H.C. Dodge in Chicago Sun.

Newark Daily Advocate (Newark, Ohio) Apr 16, 1890

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