Archive for November 2nd, 2011

Pedigree Was Fine, But….

November 2, 2011

Pedigree Was Fine, But —,

Though nepotism has been known to get good railroad jobs for young men, there is one passenger official in Kansas City with whom family connections do not go very far.

A few days ago the official in question was in quest of an additional man for his office.

A friend, learning of his desire, took occasion to write a letter indorsing a young man of his acquaintance.

The letter contained some glowing testimonials of some of the things accomplished by the young man’s ancestors and relatives. But it didn’t get very far with the passenger official, when sent the following laconic reply to the young man’s indorser:

“Judging from your letter, the young man you recommend must have a good pedigree. However, I merely desire a clerk now, but if I conclude to start a stock farm later, I will let you know and will be glad to give the young man a chance.”

— Kansas City Journal.

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Jun 17, 1912

A Traitor in the Garden of Justice

November 2, 2011

Image from HarpWeek presents The Impeachment of Andrew Johnson

NEW CATECHISM.

Q. Who was the first man?

A. Andrew Johnson.

Q. How was the first man created?

A. By four and a-half tailors, (one half of a man,) and a goose.

Q. What other name is the first man known by among his followers?

A. Andrew Moses.

Q. How did he receive this name?

A. By becoming a traitor in the garden of Justice and joining the Democratic party.

Q. Who was the first woman?

A. Aunt Lorenzo Thomas.

Q. How was the first woman created?

A. By a man-da-mus of Andrew Moses.

Q. What other name is the first woman known by?

A. Old Ad Interim.

Q. Why was she created?

A. For the ostensible purpose of testing the legal authority of A. Moses.

Q. How was her creation received?

A. By the expulsion of A. Moses from the garden of Justice.

Q. What is the proper doom of traitors?

A. “The penalty of Treason is death.

Q. Who will meet their proper reward?

A. The Copperhead Democratic party.

Q. When will their punishment commence?

A. Immediately after the fall elections of 1868.

Q. Where will it be inflicted, and in what manner?

A. At the ballot box, by the ballot “Soldiers vote as they shot.”

Q. How do you know they will be punished?

A. By intuition.

Q. What is intuition?

A. The act by which the mind perceives the agreement or disagreement of two ideas.

Q. What authority has the Union party in the coming elections?

A. A. Grant.

Q. What other assurance have we of their strength?

A. They have Ben. Wade in the balance, (and not found wanting;) are honorable, trustworthy and competent.

Decatur Republican (Decatur, Illinois) Apr 16, 1868

*     *     *

For the person that wanted the source:

decatur republican - 16 apr 1868 pg1