Archive for December 3rd, 2011

The Indian Student

December 3, 2011

Image from Susquehanna Indian Tribe History

THE INDIAN STUDENT.

From Susquehannah’s utmost springs
Where savage tribes persue their game,
His blanket tied with yellow strings
The sheperd of the forest came.

Not long before a wandering Priest,
Expressed his wish with visage sad,
Ah, why he cried in Satan’s waste,
Ah, why retain so fine a lad.

In yankee land there stands a town
Where learning may be purchased low;
Exchange his blanket for a gown —
And let the lad to College go.

From long debate the council rose,
And viewing Shellum’s tricks with joy; —
To Harvard hall, o’er drifts of snow,
They sent the tawny colored boy.

A while he wrote, a while he read,
A while attended grammer rules;
An Indian savage so well bred,
Great credit promised to the schools.

Some thought he would in law excel —
Some thought in physic he would shine,
And some who liked him passing well —
Beheld in him a sound divine.

But those of more deserving eye,
Even then could other prospects show, —
They saw him lay his virgil by
To wander with his dearer bow.

Ah, why he cried did I forsake,
My native woods for gloomy walls,
The silver streams, the limpid lake
For musty books and college halls?

A little could my wants supply,
Can wealth or honor give me more,
Or will the sylvian God deny,
The humble treat he gave before?

When nature’s ancient forests grow,
And mingled laurel never fades, —
My heart is fixed and I must go
To die among my native shades.

He spoke, and to the western springs,
His gown discharged, his money spent,
His blanket tied with yellow strings
The sheperd of the forest went.

Returning to his rural plains,
The Indians welcomed him with joy,
The council took him home again
And blessed the tawny colored boy.

Cambridge City Tribune (Cambridge City, Indiana) Dec 8, 1870

Aw, Beans!

December 3, 2011

AW BEANS!

(A play in 4 acks.)

Ack 1.

Boy: Hay ma, would you mind please taking me down town so I can see Santa Claws and tell him wat I wunt for Chrissmas?

Boys mother: Wy certeny, the plezzure will be all mine.

Ack 2.

Skinny Salivation Army Santa Claws: How do you do, boys? Wats you wunt for Chrissmas if youre a good boy?

Boy: Ice skates, a sled, a drum and gum boots, thanks.

Ack 3.

Fat Salivation Army Santa Claws: Hello there, boy. Wat can I do for you this Chrissmas in case youre a good boy?

Boy: Holey smoaks, are you Santa Claws?

Fat Salivation Army Santa Claws: Certeny.

Boy: Well then who was that other guy?

Fat Salivation Army Santa Claws: Are you going to tell me wat you wunt or are you going to pass on and give somebody elts a chance, wich?

Boy: Ice skate, a sled, a drum and gum boots, thanks.

Ack 4.

Reel Santa Claws: Ah there, boy enything speshil you wunt for Chrissmus and if so wat?

Boy: Aw beans!

Reel Santa Claws: Beans for Chrissmas? Haw haw wat a unusual child.

Boy: Youre the 3rd guy told me they was Santa Claus.

Reel Santa Claws: But I reely am.

Boy: Aw beans!

Reel Santa Claus: You can ask your mother if I aint.

Boys mother: How can I tell?

Boy: Aw beans, lets go home, ma.

(Wich they do.)

Reel Santa Claws: Darn the luck.

The end.

Ogden Standard Examiner (Ogden, Utah) Dec 11, 1920

Appleton Post Crescent (Appleton, Wisconsin) Dec 3, 1921