Civil Service Rules!

The Civil Service Doorkeeper.

You must be up on the classics, you must know enough to speak,
As glibly as a heathen, any quantity of Greek;
Must gallop through the Iliad — lead the highest German schools,
If you want to be doorkeeper under civil service rules!

You must pace along through Persian like a native of the soil;
You must run the Gallic gamut, make the Latin language boil;
You must lope through andalusia, on the backs of Spanish mules,
If you want to be doorkeeper under civil service rules!

In short, although it’s funny — your education’s girth
Must be ample — for example, it must belt around the earth!
You must show a good diploma from a hundred thousand schools,
If you want to be doorkeeper under civil service rules!


Learning Rewarded.

“Did Brown stand the civil service examination?”

“First-class.”

“Went through the Greek alphabet?”

“Jest a-hummin’!”

“And the Latin verbs?”

“Every one of ’em!”

“What place did they give him?”

“Head coal-shoveler.”

The Atlanta Constitution (Atlanta, Georgia) May 16, 1893

THE Atlanta Constitution flings responsibility upon the proprietor of its rustling evening contemporary as follows:

There should be 2487 offices set aside for Georgia, this being her fair proportion. Of course the state will get its full part, else what is the gain in cabinet representation?

Of course hungry applicants from Georgia will not get that many places, whereupon the Constitution will charge the failures up to Smith and ask the people to quit the Journal and subscribe for the Constitution, See?

Galveston Daily News (Galveston, Texas) Mar 17, 1893


APPLICANTS BY THE TRAIN LOAD.

It seems that the Atlanta Constitution has paraded the long list of 2487 offices to which it claims the Georgians are entitled hold has urged Georgians to assert their claims with such vehemence and eloquence that an excursion to Washington by a grand army of claimants is in contemplation. The Constitution took no pains to explain that very few of the places in its list were vacant and that others were places to which the civil service regulations must be applied under the law regardless of state lines. It simply insisted that Georgians were entitled to 2487 fat places and that they should not hesitate to assert their rights to them.  The Washington Post explains that “the Constitution not only boldly proclaims that Georgia is entitled to 2487 offices, but it calls upon the Georgia democrats to come to Washington and demand their rights.” The Constitution denies that it called upon the Georgians to go to Washington and demand their rights, claiming that it actually dissuaded them from seeking offices; but while professing to deprecate plum seeking it continued and still continues to display and count the tempting fruit in a manner calculated to convince Georgians that the plums belong in their mouths and that it is their duty to take them. A projected excursion to Washington is the natural result of a persistent effort to make the people despise Mr. Cleveland for failing to give them 2487 federal offices and to induce them as a matter of right to claim said offices forthwith, yet the Constitution asserts:

The talk about an excursion of Georgians to Washington, for the purpose of applying for office, is worse than nonsense. It is a part and parcel of the extraordinary scheme which northern editors and northern politicians have entered into for the purpose of making Georgia the butt of ridicule and destroying the usefulness of those of her statesmen who have already received the recognition of the administration.

For tempting the people the Constitution should be taxed with a heavy share of the expense of the excursion. In fact, the part it has played in provoking applicants to roll into Washington by the train load to claim their spoils is almost on a par with the work of the colonization agents who sometimes lead dusky clients who confide in them to make a bad break for Africa. Of course, the misguided Georgians will gain nothing but sad experience by thus seeking to carry the war into Africa, but it is safe to guess that they will know better next time. If possible, the Constitution should do something to stop the excursion before it is everlastingly too late to pitch a crop.

Galveston Daily News (Galveston, Texas) Mar 25, 1893

A Serious Matter.

We call the attention of our readers to the fact that the attempt to turn into a joke the demand of The Constitution for a fair apportionment of the offices, so far as Georgia is concerned, has come to a timely end.

It has been discovered that the principle for which we have been contending goes deeper than a mere desire to see the offices fairly divided. The matter rests, indeed, on the broadest possible grounds, and the demand in behalf of Georgia covers the rights of all the states that have been unjustly deprived of their fair share of the public patronage.

The deprivation has been made to work to the advantage of the north, not alone in the matter of office-holding, but in a more substantial manner. Governor Fishback, of Arkansas, in his recent letter to Governor Northen, touches on one phase of the matter that is not specially related to the desire for office.

For thirty years nearly all the appointments to foreign countries have been made from the north and have represented foreign interests. These officials have exercised a powerful, indeed, an overwhelming influence in giving direction to immigration. Moreover, these appointees have been the rankest of rank partisans, and they have lost no opportunity to create a public sentiment in the countries to which they were credited prejudicial to the south, its climate and people.

Governor Fishback thinks the time has come when all this should be changed, and when the south should have a chance to present its advantages through the favored representatives of the government. In other words, the south wants a fair show at home and abroad. This is why The Constitution insists that Georgia shall have its equitable share of the appointments at home, in the departments and abroad — under the civil service rules and outside of them.

Meanwhile, we invite those editors who think the matter is funny to continue their efforts.

The Atlanta Constitution (Atlanta, Georgia) Apr 18, 1893

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