Archive for March 7th, 2012

Brother, Can You Spare a Tube?

March 7, 2012

Image from Gallery of Graphic Design


(To the tune of “Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?”)

Once I had some toothpaste, long ago,
Gosh, I sure was a boob!
Now I’m out of toothpaste, moanin’ low —
Brother, can you spare a tube?

Used to have my whiskers shaved each day,
Now I look like a Rube;
Shaving cream costs more than I can pay —
Brother, can you spare a tube?

I’m all-out for Vict’ry, beard and all,
Let’s slice those Japs into cubes!
Meanwhile, can’t you hear me sadly call —
Brother, can you spare some tubes?

— Frank M. Schmitt.

Boyden Reporter (Boyden, Iowa) May 14, 1942

What They’re Coming To

March 7, 2012


By Edgar A. Guest
Copyright 1926

I do not fret o’er knee length skirts
or rings within the ears
Which much resemble as they swing
those old-time chandeliers;
I see the pretty modern girls who
shock our ancient crew
But I have not the slightest doubt of
what they’re coming to.

They’re on their way, as long ago,
were those good wives of ours
To pots and pans and kitchen stoves
and food a man devours;
To making beds and dusting chairs, to
bassinettes and cribs
And tucking under little chins those
hand embroidered bibs.

These modern styles, which age deplores,
will little change their lives,
They’re on their was to men like us
to be their faithful wives;
They’re on their way to humdrum tasks,
to nights of anxious care
And to the endless duties borne
by women everywhere.

These frivolous and pretty things with
baubels in their ears
Will rule the houses of the land in just
a few more years;
They’re on their way to every hurt and
joy that we’ve been through;
And there is not the slightest doubt of
what they’re coming to.

Morning Herald (Uniontown, Pennsylvania) Mar 22, 1926