Archive for April 25th, 2012

That is Naught

April 25, 2012

Image from Diane Waring Presents! Education That’s Relational

O, why shall we say for catched, caught,
As grammarians some say we ought?
Let us see
How things be
When this kind of teaching is taught:

The egg isn’t hatched, it is haught;
My breeches aren’t patched, they are paught;
John and James are not matched, they are maught;
My door isn’t latched, it is laught;
The pie wasn’t snatched, it was snaught;
The cat never scratched, but she scraught;
The roof wasn’t thatched, it was thaught.

If English must this way be wraught,
It soon will be natched — that is, naught.

The Sydney Mail (Sidney, Australia) Jul 8, 1882

The Fate of a Girl in Male Attire

April 25, 2012

Image from the New York Correction History Society

The Fate of a Girl in Male Attire.

Several years ago, Jennie Westbrook of New York, who had been earning $7 a week as a saleswoman in a dry goods store in that city, concluded to do better. So she donned male apparel, and passing for a good looking young man, acted as waiter in a restaurant for $15 a week, and finally became book-keeper and confidential clerk for a firm who paid her $1,500 a year.

Somehow or other, her secret became known to those embodiments of Truth and Purity, the bummer police of New York, and she was arrested, tried, and sentenced to imprisonment for the awful crime of wearing male attire and honestly working for a man’s pay.

She went to Blackwell’s Island prison, therefore; but it is a pleasure to state that in a day or two, the outrageous foolishness of her punishment had created such a fussing in the great city that she was released.

The Standard (Albert Lea, Minnesota) Mar 23, 1882

The Married State

April 25, 2012

Image from The Cabinet Card Gallery

The Married State

[Troy Press.]

He tried to kiss Miss Ouri,
But she wouldn’t let him do it,
And she hinted very broadly,
If he tried again he’d rue it.

Then he went for Mrs. Sippi,
A sweetly blushing widah,
But she said, “Utah-dy fellah,
Your suit I can’t considah,

“For I’m just engaged to Georgia,
And never can Nevada
Man so dreadfully persistent,
He’s an awful woman-raidah!

“Idaho’d a field of cotton
Rather n leave this healthy section,
And I never liked a fellah
With a Florida complexion.

“I wouldn’t ‘a gone off with him,
Oregon with any other,
But Iowa lot of money
To a cruel hearted brother.

“I wish you’d asked me soonah,
As it is, I must decline, ah,
So just call on Louisa Anna,
Or visit Carolina.”

But he went to Minnie Sota,
Dressed in a suit of Kersey,
And he told her if she’d have him
He would buy her a New Jersey

And now they’re wed and happy,
And they live in Indiana,
And they’re seriously thinking
Of naming her Montana.

The Atchison Globe (Atchison, Kansas) Apr 23, 1885