Archive for June 9th, 2012

Nightfall on the Farm

June 9, 2012

Image from MoMA

NIGHTFALL ON THE FARM.

Upon the porch at even
We two together stood,
And listened to the tinkle
Of sheep-bells in the wood.
The locust trees bent o’er us,
White blossoms dropping down,
And, fringed with flowers, before us
The path lay bare and brown.

We heard the sheep-bells music
Far off and dreamy grow;
We saw the white flowers sprinkle
The lawn like flecks of snow;
The roses drew back shyly
Into the silent dark,
But though their haunts were shaded
Their perfume we could mark.

Up in a locust’s branches
A little bird said “cheep” —
‘Twas all that broke the silence
The whole world seemed asleep.
“Good night,” she said. “I love you!”
I said. She did not speak,
But swift she leaned toward me
With tears upon her cheek.

— Philip L. Barker, in Chicago Record.

Freeborn County Standard (Albert Lea, Minnesota) Jun 10, 1896

Change

June 9, 2012

CHANGE.

I.

Shady tree,
Babbling brook,
Girl in hammock,
Reading book,
Golden curls,
Tiny fee,
Girl in hammock
Looks so sweet.
Man rides past,
Big Moustache,
Girl in hammock
Makes a “Mash.”
Mash is mutual,
Day is set,
Man and maiden
Married get.

II.

Married now,
One year ago,
Keeping house
On Baxter Row.
Red hot stove,
Beefsteak frying,
Girl got married,
Cooking, trying,
Cheeks all burning,
Eyes look red;
Girl got married,
Nearly dead,
Biscuit burnt up,
Beefsteak charry;
Girl got married,
Awful sorry.
Man comes home,
Tears moustache,
Mad as blazes;
Got no hash.
Thinks of hammock
In the lane,
Wishes maiden
Back again.
Maiden also
Thinks of swing,
Wants to go back,
Too, poor thing!

III.

Hour of midnight,
Baby squawking,
Man in sock feet,
Bravely walking,
Baby yells on,
Now the other
Twin he strikes up,
Like his brother.
Paregoric
By the bottle,
Emptied into
Baby’s throttle.
Naughty tack
Points in air,
Waiting some one’s
Foot to tear,
Man in sock feet —
See him — there!
Holy Moses!
Hear him swear!
Raving crazy,
Gets his gun,
Blows his head off,
Dead and gone.

IV.

Pretty widow
With a book,
In the hammock
By the brook.

*   *   *   *

Man rides past,
Big moustache;
Keeps on riding,
Nary mash.

— Author Unknown.

Freeborn County Standard (Albert Lea, Minnesota) Jun 1, 1882

Does Thee Believe in France?

June 9, 2012

A skeptical young collegian confronted an old Quaker with the statement that he did not believe in the Bible. Said the Quaker;

“Does thee believe in France?”

“Yes, for though I have not seen it I have seen others that have; besides, there is plenty of corroborative proof that such a country does exist.”

“Then thee will not believe anything thee or others has not seen.”

“No, to be sure I won’t.”

“Did thee ever see thy own brains?”

“No.”

“Ever see anybody that did?”

“No.”

“Does thee believe thee has any?”

The Hillsdale Standard (Hillsdale, Michigan) Aug 4, 1868