Change

CHANGE.

I.

Shady tree,
Babbling brook,
Girl in hammock,
Reading book,
Golden curls,
Tiny fee,
Girl in hammock
Looks so sweet.
Man rides past,
Big Moustache,
Girl in hammock
Makes a “Mash.”
Mash is mutual,
Day is set,
Man and maiden
Married get.

II.

Married now,
One year ago,
Keeping house
On Baxter Row.
Red hot stove,
Beefsteak frying,
Girl got married,
Cooking, trying,
Cheeks all burning,
Eyes look red;
Girl got married,
Nearly dead,
Biscuit burnt up,
Beefsteak charry;
Girl got married,
Awful sorry.
Man comes home,
Tears moustache,
Mad as blazes;
Got no hash.
Thinks of hammock
In the lane,
Wishes maiden
Back again.
Maiden also
Thinks of swing,
Wants to go back,
Too, poor thing!

III.

Hour of midnight,
Baby squawking,
Man in sock feet,
Bravely walking,
Baby yells on,
Now the other
Twin he strikes up,
Like his brother.
Paregoric
By the bottle,
Emptied into
Baby’s throttle.
Naughty tack
Points in air,
Waiting some one’s
Foot to tear,
Man in sock feet —
See him — there!
Holy Moses!
Hear him swear!
Raving crazy,
Gets his gun,
Blows his head off,
Dead and gone.

IV.

Pretty widow
With a book,
In the hammock
By the brook.

*   *   *   *

Man rides past,
Big moustache;
Keeps on riding,
Nary mash.

— Author Unknown.

Freeborn County Standard (Albert Lea, Minnesota) Jun 1, 1882

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2 Responses to “Change”

  1. Andrew Says:

    “By the bottle,Emptied into Baby’s throttle”. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it referenced that way. Think you for bringing it to my attention.

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