When the Coal-Pile Quits

Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Oct 27, 1919

WHAT THE MINERS ARE ASKING.

It is well for the public to bear in mind what the bituminous miners are demanding. They want a sixty per cent increase in their hourly rate, a six hour day and a five day week. They are willing to work just thirty hours a week, and no more, if their leaders are to be believed.

Will they mine more coal? No, the output will be much less. More is needed to supply the demand, but that makes no difference to them.

Where is the money to come from to pay this increased cost of mining the coal? Out of the public. If the strikers get what they demand the price of coal will be increased approximately two dollars a ton to the consumer.

Nice prospect the consumer is facing, isn’t it? If the miners don’t get what they want he doesn’t get any coal. If their demands are granted he must fork over $2 more every time he orders a ton of coal.

Poor consumer! He is always getting in the neck. Somebody’s slugging him all the time. Wonder how long he is going to stand for it?

Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Oct 28, 1919

Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Nov 4, 1919

The Newark Advocate (Newark, Ohio) Dec 20, 1919

Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Dec 8, 1919

WHEN THE COAL-PILE QUITS.

Everybody’s grouchy when the coal-pile quits,
Greediness and stubbornness have paralyzed the pits.
“Cabinets are jelly-minded!”
Governors are spavin-spined-ed!”
Hear the chorus all uproar’ous giving Garfield fits!
For everybody’s grouchy when the coal-pile quits.

Everbody’s frosty when the coal pile quits,
When you fell the furnace you must wear your woolen mitts.
Courts and cook-stoves are upbraided;
Reds and redolents are aided;
Hear the Hammer-courus clamor, blowing us to bits,
For everybody’s frosty when the coal-pile quits.

Just one man is smiling as the coal-pile quits;
Only one I think of whom it favorably hits,
As his task grows nearer daily,
I can hear him chuckle daily,
“I, by Jim’ny, in the chimney, won’t be burnt to bits!”
Santy Claus is smiling as the coal-pile quits.

(Copyright, 1919, N.E.A.)

Edmund Vance Cooke

Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Dec 11, 1919

Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Dec 2, 1919

SWEARING OFF.

It used to be on New Year’s Day
A man forsook his booze,
But now ‘twould be a better play
To swear off wearing shoes.

He used to cease to burn cigars
In succor of his soul,
But now, no doubt, he’d thank his stars
To swear off burning coal.

He swore off drinking (in his pride)
To give the New Year greeting,
But nothing now will save his hide
Unless he swears off eating.

He swore off naughtiness, and used
To think himself a hero,
But cost of living has reduced
His naught-iness to zero.

He used to cease some wicked word
Upon some New Year’s Day,
But now — oh, let it not be heard
The word he’d like to say!

(Copyright, 1919, N.E.A.)

Edmund Vance Cooke

Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Dec 24, 1919

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Newark Advocate (Newark, Ohio) Dec 20, 1919

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Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Nov 18, 1919

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The Newark Advocate (Newark, Ohio) Dec 15, 1919

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Newark Daily Advocate (Newark, Ohio) Sep 22, 1919

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