Not the Bold Face Type, However
“I see that printer who divorced his wife has married again.”
“Well, I hope he selected a different type.”
— Florida Times-Union.
Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Nov 18, 1919
* * *
The Other Kind Welcome
Rejected One — So you object to my presence at your wedding.
The Girl — That depends on how you spell it.
— Boston Transcript.
Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Nov 18, 1919
* * *
The Eternal Feminine
“Why do they speak of Mother Earth? Why should earth be considered feminine?”
“Because she’s so successful in concealing her age, I take it.”
— Louisville Courier Journal.
Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Sep 4, 1919
* * *
Why, Of Course Not!
“Sir,” she trickled, in a voice that would make an icicle seem like a superheated mustard plaster, “I have never met you.”
“Well, I know it,” the fresh guy with the withered moustached bubbled blithely. IF you had, do you suppose I’d be going to all this trouble to get acquainted?”
–Brooklyn Citizen.
Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Sep 6, 1919
* * *
Family Secret
“I bet I know what makes sister wear her hair bunched down over her ears,” said the small boy.
“Do you?” replied the affable young man.
“Yes. But I ain’t goin’ to tell. Only if my ears were as big as sister’s I’d do something like that myself.”
— Washington Star.
Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Sep 6, 1919
* * *
A Polite Burglar
Miss Fortyodd woke in the middle of the night to find burglar ransacking her effects. Miss Fortyodd did not scream, for she prided herself, among other things, upon her courage.
Pointing to the door with a dramatic gesture, she exclaimed:
“Leave me at once!”
The burglar politely retreated a step and said:
“I had no intention of taking you.”
— Detroit Free Press.
Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Sep 9, 1919
* * *
Wanted to Know
“Just one more question, uncle.”
“Well, well, what is it?”
“If a boy is a lad and has a step-father, is the lad a stepladder?”
Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Sep 10, 1919
YesterYear Once More 