Posts Tagged ‘1892’

Low-Down Thieves

May 30, 2012

Image from CANTIGNY

Low-Down Thieves.

Worried Editor: “Good morning! I presume you are the detective sent to help us catch the miserable thieves who steal papers from front doors. The low-down rascals! I don’t see how anything in human form can descend to such petty –”

Stranger: “You mistake, sir. I am not a detective. I am the paragrapher of the Bungtown Bugle, and I dropped in to ask why in thunder you steal all my jokes and print ’em as original.”

— N.Y. Weekly

Chillicothe Morning Constitution (Chillicothe, Missouri) Mar 3, 1892

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Hard to Believe

May 30, 2012

Image from Appin of Yesteryear

Hard to Believe.

A station master requested an increase of salary and threatened to leave if he didn’t get it.

The superintendent replied to his request by relating a story.

“When I was a young man,” said he, “I once did as you are doing — I told the superintendent of the line I was then working on what you have told me. He refused my demand and I left, and would you believe it — that railway line is running yet?”

— London Tit-Bits.

Chillicothe Morning Constitution (Chillicothe, Missouri) Mar 2, 1892

St. Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2012

Image from the Edwardsville Intelligencer (Edwardsville, Illinois) Mar 16, 1892

ST. PATRICK’S DAY.

St. Patrick came, St. Patrick went,
And a — wae us;
We’ve lost a Saint that Heaven sent
To guard o’er us.
And when our isle will see him back,
No one dare say;
But a star o’er an Irish shack
Will shine some day.
So rise again, ye marble halls,
And wake ye ancient voice,
And sound again that Irish harp
That made our hearts rejoice.
And let our hornmen to the hills,
Our heralds o’er the sea;
To spread the news that he has come
To set auld Ireland free!

St. Patrick kind and Mary queen
Let them approach!
With all our fairies drest in green,
Drawing their coach;
And a white winged escort of doves
Fanning the air.
Oh! light is the crown of our loves
That they will wear.
So mount ye lords and ladies fair,
On chargers white as snow,
And ride ye to your Irish halls —
Your rights of long ago —
And if our hornmen ne’er return,
In Heaven then they’ll be,
To spread the news that he has come,
And set auld Ireland free!

MASTER EMERY,
416 Eighth street, Oakland, Cal.

Oakland Tribune (Oakland, California) Mar 16, 1906

My Land – Ireland

March 16, 2012

She is rich and rare land;
Oh, she’s a fresh and fair land!
She is a dear and rare land —
This native land of mine.

No men than hers are braver —
Her women’s hearts ne’er waver;
I’d freely die to save her
And think my lot divine.

She’s not a dull or cold land —
No! she’s a warm and bold land;
Oh, she’s a true and old land —
This native land of mine.

Could beauty ever guard her,
And virture still reward her,
No foe could cross her border,
No friend within it pine.

Oh, she’s a fresh and fair land!
Oh, she’s a true and rare land!
Yes, she’s a rare and fair land —
This native land of mine.

–Thomas Davis.

Edwardsville Intelligencer (Edwardsville, Illinois) Mar 16, 1892

Innisfail

March 15, 2012

INNISFAIL.

[This poem was written by Michael Davitt in Portland prison.]

In England’s felon garb we’re clad, and by her vengeance bound;
Her concentrated hate we’ve had — her justice never found.
Her laws, accurs’d, have done their worst; in vain they still assail
To crush the hearts that beat for thee, our own loved Innisfail.

Nor can the dungeon’s deepest gloom but make us love thee more;
We’d brave the terrors of the tomb to keep the oath we swore.
In chains or free, to live for thee, and never once to quail
Before the foe that wrought such woe to our loved Innisfail.

From Irish mothers’ hearts has flowed this sacred love of thee,
And Erin’s daughters’ cheeks have glowed that love in deeds to see;
A coward born fair lips will scorn, while joyously they hail
The hearts that beat for love of thee, our own loved Innisfail.

Then let our jailers scowl and roar when cheerful looks we wear;
The patriot’s God that we adore will shield us from despair.
Fair bosoms rise and love drawn sighs by mountain, stream and vale,
And day and night in prayers unite for us and Innisfail.

Here, chained beneath the tyrant’s hand, by martyrs’ blood we swear
To Freedom and to Fatherland we still allegiance bear;
Nor felon’s fate nor England’s hate nor hellish-fashioned jail
Shall stay this hand to wield a brand one day for Innisfail.

Edwardsville Intelligencer (Edwardsville, Illinois) Mar 16, 1892

Sweet By and By

February 19, 2012

THE SWEET BY AND BY.

In the happy time a-coming there’ll be nothing to provoke,
But everybody then shall wear a light and easy yoke;
The scores of quite distressing things that pain us every day
Will in that blissful afterwhile be banished far away.
There’ll be no broken cables then our wishes to defeat,
And when we pay our nickel we shall always get a seat;
Nor shall we have to wave both arms to catch the carman’s eye,
He’ll stop for us unsignaled in the sweet by and by.

The fellow with the cigarette, oh, he will not be there,
But in the other place, you know. Will anybody care?
For since he’s fond of smoking ’twill be better far that he
Shall go where he amy smoke and smoke through all eternity.
The man who on the crowded street keeps turning to the left
It pleases us to say of his sweet face we’ll be bereft;
And women who with parasols are jabbing at our eye,
They never can come near us in the sweet by and by.

And she who wears a mammoth hat while at the theater,
Oh, then is when with goulish glee we’ll have the laugh on her;
For while the one she tortured will the pearly gates pass through,
St. Peter, with an awful frown, will say to her, “Go to.”
The bores who tell us stories we have heard a hundred times
And long haired, crazy poets with their soft, insipid rhymes —
And likewise all the fishermen who lie and lie and lie —
They’ll never more disturb us in the sweet by and by.

The broken elevator and the bridge forever turned,
These nuisances will nowhere in that city be discerned.
But this will please us more than all the jasper, gold and pearl —
We’ll no more have to battle with the awful servant girl.
The ice man and the coal man — it will fill our hearts with mirth
To knwo that while they may connive to won the entire earth
Cannot possess, when later on their time shall come to die,
The merest, tiny portion of the sweet by and by.

The man who says, “I told you so,” and fortunately, too,
The summer chump who asks us, “Is it hot enough for you?”
Will both be barred; and better yet, they’ll shut out every one
Who whistles “Comrades,” “Annie Rooney,” “Johnny, Get Your Gun!”
And it is pleasant just to think no woman there shall come
Who while on earth in public ever toyed with chewing gum.
Oh, the place will be delightful, and it’s worth our while to try
To get a lead pipe cinch upon the sweet by and by.

— Chicago Tribune.

Edwardsville Intelligencer (Edwardsville, Illinois) Jan 23, 1892

Groundhogs aren’t the Only Forecasters

February 18, 2012

Image from Skulls and Bones

OLD HUNTER SAYS RABBIT BONES TELL OF MILD WINTER

A mild winter is ahead according to Joe Cole, a famous weather prognosticator of Chargin Falls, Ohio.

Cole is a famous hunter and fisherman out in his section. He has discovered that if a rabbit’s bones go dry half and hour after having been taken from the carcass, nothing but a mild winter is in store.

His other reasons for hazarding his reputation on a prediction are these:

The goosebone indication — The bones break easily, hence dry weather.

Corn has remained dry in the shock unusually long this year.

Geese have not gone south yet.

Certain signs, known to the initiated, seen on the top of sour milk pans early in the morning.

All these and more, too complicated for ordinary minds to grasp, make Mr. Cole absolutely sure of his forecast.

New Castle News (New Castle, Pennsylvania) Nov 20, 1907


Image of Virgil from Buzzle

WEATHER FORECASTS.

Primitive Portents That Are as True Now as in Virgil’s Time.

At the beginning of the Christian era, and before that time the signs of the heavens and the behavior of animals and birds were noted with reference to changes of weather. If we read Virgil we shall find numerous references to these portents, and the translation usually quoted will furnish us with information which must be as true nowadays as it was in Virgil’s time, for wild animals do not change their habits. Speaking of wet weather in the Georgics, the poet wrote

The wary crane foresees it first, and sails
Above the storm and leaves the hollow vales.
The cow looks up and from afar can find
The change of heaven, and sniffs it in the wind.
The swallow skims the river’s watery face,
The frogs renew the croaks of their loquacious race.
The careful ant her secret cell forsakes
And draws her eggs along the narrow tracks.
At either horn the rainbow drinks the flood,
Huge flocks of rising rooks forsake their food,
And, crying, seek the shelter of the wood.
*       *       *       *       *       *       *
And owls, that mark the setting Sun, declare
A starlight evening, and a morning fair.

We might quote further selections respecting the signs in the heaven and earth mentioned but the foregoing verses will be sufficient to illustrate our position, and to show us that weather forecasting is, at any rate, as old as the Christian era. The moon is generally supposed to influence the weather — a Saturday’s moon” being particularly objectionable, or when she appears anew at some hours after midnight thus

When first the moon appears, if then she shrouds
Her silver crescent tipped with sable clouds,
Conclude she bodes a tempest on the main,
And brews for fields impetuous floods of rain.

For generations, as today, a red sky foretells fine weather a yellow sky changing into green means rain, or rain and wind, on the other hand when the red rays appear we many anticipate fine weather, as the atmosphere is becoming less and less moist.

A “low” dawn is known as a good sign, so when the first rays appear at or near the horizon we may anticipate a fine day, as we may when the morning is gray.

Evening red and morning gray

are almost unfailing tokens of fine weather.

Edwardsville Intelligencer (Edwardsville, Illinois) Mar 23, 1892

Virgil’s Georgics, Book I (google book link)

The Mistletoe

December 19, 2011

The Mistletoe.

Oh, dainty odor of the mistletoe,
Sending my fancy off to long ago!
All this small room with faint perfume beset,
A modest mimicry of violet.

Those ancient days when linen robes of priest
Caught the green bough to deck some furious feast,
Breaking the brittlestems with knives of gold —
Those days were not so fine as some less old.

As jovial days, when jolly Christmastide
Filled all the earth with mirth, dear love beside,
Sweet was it then, beneath the mistletoe,
To catch a pretty maid and kiss her — so!

Oh,dear was yesterday beneath the bough,
And dear the kisses given there, I trow;
Full sweet the days we never can forget,
But, ah, tomorrows will be sweeter yet!

— New Orleans Picayne.

Edwardsville Intelligencer (Edwardsville, Illinois) Dec 21, 1892

The Newark Advocate (Newark, Ohio) Dec 19, 1911

Sleighing Season

December 15, 2011

The Sleighing Season.

The enlivening tinkle of the tiny bells in the streets, keept us in mind that sleighing is an amusement only of the winter, and then it is confined to the uncertain snows, which occasionally enshroud the earth in this fickle climate.

Old and young, the “boys and girls,” — all are in merry glee over the animating scenes of the sleigh ride. Nearly all locomotion, except the walking party, has been on runners this week. We have the rustic sled, the “bob” and the “hickory jumper,” the “two in hand” and the solitary “clipper,” flying through the lively streets, on business or pleasure as the case may be.

But stop and consider!

All the race of that noble servant of man, the horse, are appealing for mercy to their master. Weary and panting and white with perspiration in the cutting frost, they call for our sympathies in contributing to our pleasure and happiness.

Allen County Democrat (Lima, Ohio) Jan 7, 1875

They Are Strangers Now.

A Middleton young lady never tires of relaing an amusing occurrence of the sleighing season last winter. She was enjoying a ride in company with two Hartford gentlemen, and she was driving. One of the gentlemen slily inserted a hand in her muff and lovingly pressed her disengaged hand. She blushed and withdrew it just as the gentleman on the other side slipped his hand into the muff. She knew by the actions of her adorers that the hand pressures were frequent and loving within the silken lining of the muff, for first one face and then the other bobbed forward to catch a look at the sweet face and eyes which prompted, as they supposed, the tender pressure of the hand.

The by-play lasted until the young lady quietly remarked:

“If you gentlemen are through with my muff, I will trouble you for it now, as my hands are getting cold.”

And the gentlemen, who had been comfortably warm up to this time, suddenly felt an arctic chill creeping up there spinal columns, and the mercury of their feelings dropped to 180 degrees below zero. The two gentlemen are strangers now.

Chester Times (Chester, Pennsylvania) Aug 8, 1882

A Solemn Joker.

An Indianapolis society man played a mean trick during the sleighing season, and the young lady hasn’t spoken to him since. They had been old friends for a long time, and it was natural that they should carelessly drive away from the madding crowd on Meridian street and explore the country roads. After they had gotten out about three miles away from anywhere, the gentleman startled his companion by suddenly looking her in the eye and remarking:

“Miss Nellie, we have been friends for a long time, and I know you have perfect confidence in me. But here we are, far away from everybody, where no one could hear you if you should cry out” —

The frightened young woman was  on the verge of springing from the sleigh, but she was even more astounded than frightened, and before she could gather her wits he continued:

“Now, Miss Nellie, I want to beg of you the privilege of one sweet — smoke! May I light a cigar?” And he never even smiled.

— Indianapolis Journal.

Indiana County Gazette (Indiana, Pennsylvania) Apr 13, 1892

First of December

December 1, 2011

ON DECEMBER 1ST, 1841, the celebrated Dr. George Birkbeck died in London.

He was a physician, the son of a Yorkshire banker, and the originator by his lectures to Glasgow workingmen of the system of instruction for the application of science to the practical arts. This was the germ from which Mechanics Institutions, technical schools, and manual training has been the ultimate growth.

Bangor Daily Whig and Courier (Bangor, Maine) Dec 1, 1892

Appleton Post Crescent (Appleton, Wisconsin) Dec 1, 1921