Posts Tagged ‘April Fools’

Don’t Be April Fooled

April 1, 2012

Image from New Castle News (New Castle, Pennsylvania) Mar 26, 1948

Woman Teacher Is Declared Fire Hazard In Goofy News

Man Was Bitten By His Own False Teeth And Somebody Stole Kansas City Lamp Post

NEW YORK, March 31. — (AP) — Somebody stole a lamp post . . . a cop tagged his wife’s car . . . and a man was bitten by his own false teeth — and that’s no April Fool!

It all happened in last week’s International Cavalcade of Cockeyed Occurrences, chronicled and catalogued herewith in your weekly Goofy Gazette.

The affair of the false teeth occurred this way: A Chicago man slipped off a bench, his store molars flew out of his mouth, ricocheted off his forehead, and — just plain bit him.

The cop who had the nerve to tag his wife was Officer Guy Barnes of Rochester, Minn. Take a bow, Mr. Barnes!

The theft of the lamp post occurred in Kansas City, and there just isn’t any explanation. You never can tell — some Atlantic City, N.J., thieves stole enough sleeping powders to put away 30,000 insomniacs!

A French soldier was discovered marching to the front pushing his equipment in a baby carriage . . . the 20 members of the Boston city council inadvertently cast 22 votes . . . and an Eastport, Md., hen on Easter laid an egg containing a yolk, a white, and — another egg!

Exasperation dept: A St. Louis man got so sore talking to a girl on the telephone that he ripped out the receiver . . . a Newport News, Va., man got so mad waiting while somebody monopolized a pay telephone that he smashed the door in . . . and after snowplows repeatedly buried his mail box, an Ashland, Me., farmer nailed it onto a barn gable and put a ladder there — for the mailman to climb!

The New York City education board pronounced a teacher a fire hazard on the ground she weighed 275 pounds and was liable to block doorways . . . while a Washington policeman was reading an advertisement about a lost cat the cat walked into the police station . . . and when a Muncie, Ind., man had a tree cut down so it wouldn’t fall on his house, it — fell on his house!

In Cleveland, Miss., a prisoner in the jail there fashioned a revolver out of soap — and it DIDN’T fool the jailer.

Morning Herald (Uniontown, Pennsylvania) Apr 1, 1940

An April Fool

March 31, 2011

AN APRIL FOOL.

When Uncle Robert got his mail
That First-of-April morning
(Now, absent-minded people all,
Just read and take a warning),

Among the business bills and slips,
And cards of invitation,
And friendly notes, he found, at last,
One queer communication.

It took but little time to read —
A moment but to con it:
The two words “April Fool” were all
That could be found upon it.

Then Uncle Robert laughed and said:
“I’ve heard of funny blunders
In superscription and address,
And many puzzling wonders.

“And seen epistles left unsigned,
This goes them all one better;
For here’s a man who signed his name
And forgot to write the letter!”

— Abby F.C. Bates, in St. Nicholas.

The Daily Northwestern (Oshkosh, Wisconsin) Mar 31, 1902

Fourth Month Dunce

April 1, 2010

Fourth Month Dunce

The curious custom of joking on the first of April, sending the ignorant or the unwary on fruitless errands, for the sake of making them feel foolish and having a laugh at them, prevails very widely in the world. And whether you call the victim a “Fourth month dunce,” an “April fool,” an “April fish” (as in France), or an “April gowk” (as in Scotland), the object, to deceived him, is everywhere the same.

Image from Lectures on India By Caleb Wright - 1851

The custom has been traced back for ages; all through Europe, as far back as the records go. The “Feast of Foofs” is mentioned as celebrated by the ancient Romans. In Asia the Hindoos have a festival, ending on the 31st of March, called the “Huli festival,” in which they play the same sort of first of April pranks, — translated into Hindoo, — laughing at the victim and making him a “Huli fool.” It goes back even to Persia, where it is supposed to have a beginning, in very ancient times, in the celebration of spring, when their New Year begins.

How it came to be what we everywhere find it, the wise men cannot agree. The many authorities are so divided, that I see no way but for us to accept the custom as we find it, wherever we may happen to be, and be careful not to abuse it.

Some jokes are peculiar to particular places. In England, where it is called All Fools’ Day, one favorite joke is to send the greenhorn to a bookseller to buy the “Life and Adventures of Eve’s Grandmother,” or to a cobbler to buy a few cents’ worth of “strap oil,” — strap oil being, in the language of the shoe-making brotherhood, a personal application of the leather. The victim usually gets a good whipping with a strap.

There was an old superstition in England that prayers to the Virgin at eight o’clock on All Fools’ Day would be of wonderful efficacy, and it is seriously mentioned by grave writers of old days.

In Scotland the first of April fun is called “hunting the gowk,” and consists most often of sending a person to another a long way off, with a note which says, “Hunt the gowk another mile.” The recipient of the note gives him a new missive to still another, containing the same words; and so the sport goes on, till the victim remembers the day of the month, and sits down to rest and think about it.

In France, where the custom is very ancient, the jokes are much the same; but the victim is called an “April fish,” because he is easily caught. In one part of France there is a custom of eating a certain kind of peas which grow there, called pois chiches. The joke there is to send the peasants to a certain convent to ask for those peas, telling them that the fathers are obliged to give some to every one who comes on that day. The joke is as much on the monks as on the peasants, for there is often a perfect rush of applicants all day.

A more disagreeable custom prevails in Lisbon on the first of April, when the great object is to pour water on passers by, or, failing in that, to throw powder in their faces. If both can be done, the joker is happy.

I need not tell you the American styles of joking; nailing a piece of silver to the sidewalk; tying a string to a purse, and jerking it away from greedy fingers; leaving tempting-looking packages, filled with sand, on door-steps; frying doughnuts with an interlining of wool; putting salt in the sugar bowl, etc. You know too many already.

St. Nicholas for April.

Lyons Weekly Mirror – (Lyons, Iowa) Mar 24, 1877

“Aperl Fool!” My What Fun

March 31, 2010

APRIL FOOL.

MANDY JANE! where did you git
That awful smut upon your nose?
Jimmy Jones, you’ve tored a hole
In that bran’ new suit o’close!
Ann Eliza, there’s your beau
Comin’ here, I do declare,
An’ he’ll never come agin
If he sees that head o’hair.”

So Jane, with harsh endeavor,
Rubs her spotless nose’s end;
And Jimmy Jones, to see the hole,
Doth twist and turn and bend;
While Ann Eliza flies upstairs
As fast as she can run —
“Aperl fool!” cries little Joe.
My, what fun!

Not a thing in all the house
All day long is fit to eat;
Salt is in the sugar bowl,
Sugar sprinkled on the meat.
“Ma, a han’sum lady’s called,
Wants to speak alone to pa.”
“Pa, the preacher’s in the parlor,
An’ he heard you scoldin’ ma.”

Letters come with nothing in;
Door-bells jingle — no one’s there!
And before you take a seat
You had better test the chair.
Hither, thither, helter-skelter,
Flushed and wrathful, rush and run —
“Aperl fool!” cries little Joe.
My, what fun!

Mrs. George Archibald, in Judge.

The Carroll Herald – Mar 26, 1890

First of April Folly

March 31, 2010

FIRST OF APRIL FOLLY.

Time Honored Observances of All Fools’ Day.

HISTORIC APRIL FOOL JOKES.

How Our English, French and German Cousins Celebrate the Day — Washing the White Lions — Barnum’s Famous Hoax, Some Familiar Tricks.

Foolery, sir, doth walk about the orb.
— “Twelfth Night.”

The young American lustily shouts when he has begun the first day of April by playing some joke on Tommy Jones, next door:

April fool! Go to school!
Tell the teacher you’re a fool!

He fondly imagines that he is doing something very original as well as witty. While we will not question the wit of his retort facetious, it may be well enough to inform him that he does not have a monopoly of this kind of humor.

All around the wide world young jokers are having the same sort of fun with their unsuspecting and gullible companions. Little Johnny Bull bellows out his “April fool” in the same familiar phrase, while young Sandy hoots it in Scotch, only he calls it “gouk” instead of “fool.” Little towheaded Fritz runs through the streets of his German village and shouts a guttural rhyme which goes:

Aprilonkuh
Mach d’ Augon zu.

and which means, “April cow, shut your eyes.”

The French boys play jokes too. And when a comrade comes from the harness shop, where he has been sent for “strap oil,” they greet him with cries of “Poisson d’Avril!” which, to give a liberal translation, means that he is a “silly fish,” although literally it means “fish of April.”

Older people of other countries, as well as Americans who are no longer young, take advantage of April fool day to play sill tricks. The Germans go about it in a heavy, clumsy sort of way, but their native characteristics bar out anything which is not conceived in a good humor and which cannot be received in the same way. With phlegmatic earnestness they send each other on fruitless errands and laugh in a hearty, whole souled way when the victim is told that he has made an “April narr” of himself.

The French are apt to make their jokes in a hysterical, impulsive mood, but they are probably more given to this sort of diversion than any other nation on earth. All through France the first day of the vernal month will be marked this year, as it always is, by an outbreak of madcap pranks in which old and young will take part. So common has the custom been for centuries that an important event in French history hinges on an April fool joke which turned out to be no joke at all. Francis, duke of Lorraine, and his wife were captives at Nantes, but escaped from their prison on April 1 and, disguised as peasants, started boldly to pass the sentries. They were recognized, however, by a passerby, who ran ahead and informed the guards. The latter airily shouted back “Poisson d’Avril!” And so the supposed peasants were allowed to pass.

Fontainebleau (Image from Wikipedia

Another historical April fool day joke was that which Napoleon played on two gentlemen of his privy council, M. Regnault and M. Nisas. On April 1, 1809, these two high dignitaries were ordered to come at once to Fontainebleau, where the emperor was then staying. The distance was far, and the two gentlemen had to hire extra post horses. When they arrived, after driving fast for many leagues, they were told that the emperor was out riding. He came in after an hour or so and appeared to be greatly puzzled to see them before him.

“Did you not send for us, sire?” they said.

“No,” said the emperor, “but I remember now that this is the 1st of April. Some one may have taken the liberty of fooling you.”

M. Regnault was highly indignant and said so, but his companion took the joke good humoredly and diplomatically replied, “Perhaps so, but I am thankful to him anyway, for he gave me an audience with your majesty which I should otherwise have missed.”

Napoleon, who was very susceptible to flattery, rewarded M. Nisas with promotion, while his companion was curtly dismissed.

The adult Briton rarely unbends to such foolery, but when he does he goes into it seriously. Even to this day Englishmen remember the joke which was played in 1800 by a set of jesters in London who put their heads together and perpetrated a successful and notorious joke on a large number of people. Toward the latter part of March in that year many well known people and some who would like to have been considered such received cards of invitation bearing an official stamp in one corner and reading as follows:

Tower of London (Image from http://www.walktalktour.com)

“Tower of London. Admit bearer and friend to view annual ceremony of washing the white lions on Sunday, April 1. Admittance only at the White gate. It is particularly requested that no gratuities be given the wardens or attendants.”

There was a great crowd of cabs and pedestrians around the tower on the morning indicated, but they clamored in vain for admission until some one raised the cry of “April fool,” and then those who had thought themselves recipients of an unusual favor sneaked quietly home. The phrase “Send him to see the white lions washed” was for a long time a very popular one, and possibly is used even now.

Americans are notorious the world over for their joking propensities, but we are liable to break loose at any time and do not confine our foolery to the 1st of April. P.T. Barnum, that fun loving father of the “monster show,” perpetrated what is probably the most famous April fool day joke on record. It was perhaps a score of years ago that he advertised a new attraction for April 1.

“The most wonderful beast ever exhibited to human eyes! Puzzles the scientists! Amazes the multitude! A horse with his tail where his head ought to be!” read the flaming posters. And when the wondering crowds had passed under the canvas they saw a horse standing between the shafts of a cart with his head toward the whiffletree.

But it remained for the American small boy to illuminate All Fools’ day. Down through the centuries it had come to him with nothing but legends of a few stale pranks that were not very witty when they were new. He was not long in discovering greater possibilities in the day than the ancients or foreign folk had ever dreamed of. Putting his inventive mind to work and calling on his fertile resources, he evolved a series of April Fool day jokes which will live for centuries, but which will delight each succeeding generation.

To the American small boy we owe the brick under the hat joke, that time honored institution which lives in the memory of battered toes and aching ankles. The hot silver dollar, the coin nailed to the sidewalk, the stuffed pocketbook, apparently bursting with greenbacks, but really filled with nothing more valuable than green paper; the carefully wrapped paper parcel containing a choice collection of old rags — these are some of his humorous inventions which are not only mirth provoking to the spectators year in and year out, but are capable of many variations. For instance, the pocketbook may contain a genuine bank note, a corner of which can be artfully displayed, but a string removes it from the reach of the covetous victim just as he is about to grab it. The silver dollar may be heated so hot that it will burn the fingers of the man who attempts to pick it up, and the American boy, who is a little savage at heart, will howl with glee.

It was the American boy who conceived the idea of pinning to the backs of staid old gentlemen placards reading “Please Kick Me,” “I Am an April Fool,” etc. He invented the chocolate cream bonbon stuffed with cotton and cayenne pepper, the cigar which explodes and endangers the eyesight of the smoker and other kindred agents of expressing his innocent joy. It was a grown up American boy, too, who invented the April fool wineglass, which is apparently full of wine, but which is a delusion and a snare. This year there is a brand new article of this kind on the market. It is an excellent imitation of a plate of fried eggs, but the eggs are made of porcelain and glass, so be careful when you sit down to your morning meal on the 1st of April next, for the practical joker of the family may have made an investment.

There have been many fruitless speculations as to the origin of All Fool’s day and its customs. It has been traced back as far as the ancient Hindoos, but its lineage is doubtful and the quaint rhymed from Poor Robin’s Almanack best expresses the result, or lack of it, of all investigations on this subject:

The first of April, some do say,
Is set apart for All Fools’ day,
But why the people call it so
Nor I nor they themselves do know.

SEWELL FORD.

The Lewiston Daily Sun – Mar 19, 1897