Posts Tagged ‘Congress’

The More They Get

November 29, 2012


When laborers got a dollar a day,
They sweated hard for a picayune pay,
But now at a dollar an hours or so,
Did you ever see anyone work so slow?
The more they get, the less they do,
The more they get, the less they do;
Honest to goodness, isn’t it true
The more they get the less they do!

When profiteers used to be content
With a margin of seventy-five per cent,
They worked a little bit every year,
But never again will they work, I fear.
The more they get, the less they do,
The more they get the less they do;
Why work at all, when they’re working you?
The more they get, the less they do.

When a dozen eggs cost a shilling, about,
Every hen worked hard, day in and out,
But now that eggs are a dollar a throw,
Not a cackle occurs for a month or so.
The more they get, the less they do,
The more they get, the less they do;
Search the chicken-yard through and through;
The more they get, the less they do.

When an M.C. got three thousand a year,
A Congressional session was counted dear,
But we’d willingly pay any price per seat,
If only the Congress would never meet.
The more they get, the more they do,
The more they get, the more they do;
Do their constituents many or few,
The more they get, the more they do.

When Milton wrote his Paradise Lost,
He received five pounds as the total cost,
But now that poetry’s very much worse,
We get that much for a single verse.
The more we get, the less we do,
The more we get, the less we do.
Did you ever read Paradise Lost clear through?
That’s the reason the less we do!

(Copyright, 1919, N.E.A.)

Edmund Vance Cooke

Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Dec 30, 1919

This is a Man-Sized Job, Mister!

August 1, 2012

European Recovery Plan

Too Little — Too Late

Edwardsville Intelligencer (Edwardsville, Illinois) Jan 15, 1948

Just a Little Around the Edges, Please!

July 30, 2012

The President’s Budget

Where to Start

Edwardsville Intelligencer (Edwardsville, Illinois) Jan 17, 1948

Impeach Him Now

June 20, 2012

Image from DRUDGE REPORT- The Executive Privilege





















By Arthur Guiterman

If Wall Street grabbed your final cent,
That’s right, impeach the President.
If Europe seethes with discontent,
Denounce the cause — our President.
If China lacks a government,
Reprove our laggard President.
If industry seems hellward bent,
One can’t forgive the President.
You don’t see where your money went?
Investigate the President.
If all you had is rashly spent,
You’d best accuse the President.
If malefactors won’t repent,
Inveigh against the President.
If all the world is indigent,
Who made it so? Our President’
For droughts and wars are consequent
On blunders by the President.
So give your feelings proper vent
By growling at the President.
IT helps us all and pays the rent
To sit and blame the President.

Bessemer Herald (Bessemer, Michigan) Jun 17, 1932


John Quincy Adams – Patriot, Poet, Statesman, and Sage

February 20, 2012

[From the Baltimore Patriot.]

Wonderful man! whose mighty mind
Not even age itself can blight;
He is an honor to mankind,
And to the world a shining light;
His voice is heard in freedom’s halls,
As oft ’twas heard in olden time,
Echoing along the lofty walls,
In tones of eloquence sublime.

Patriot and poet, statesman, sage,
The friend of freedom and our race;
His fame shall live thro’ every age,
And millions yet unborn shall trace
The record of his bright renown,
And of his brilliant deeds sublime,
Which shall to mighty men go down
Upon the future tide of time.

To Ireland’s hero he the lyre
Has swept and sung of other days,
While listening ears poetic fire,
Perceivedin all his lofty lays;
The thunders of his touching tongue,
From which corruption shrinks in fear,
Thro’ freedom’s temple oft have rung,
When listening Senates’ lean’d to hear.

Had he in ancient Greece appeared,
Immortal would have been his name;
Statues to him would have been reared,
And by the golden pen of fame,
His glory on the mighty scroll,
High in her temple would be placed;
Almost on marble would his soul,
By Grecian gratitude be traced.


The Ohio Repository (Canton, Ohio) Jul 8, 1847


The October Number of the “Democratic Review,” published at Washington, contains some very interesting “glances at Congress,” in which several of the most prominent members are described in a graphic and somewhat impartial manner. The following sketch of that extraordinary man, JOHN Q. ADAMS, will be read with much interest:
Cum. Pres.

“Our attention is now attracted to a ray of light that glitters on the appex of a balk and noble head located on the left of the House, in the neighborhood of the speaker’s chair. It proceeds from that wonderful man who in his person combines the agitator, poet, philosopher, statesman, critic and orator — John Quincy Adams. There he sits, hour after hour, day after day, with untiring patience, never absent from his seat, never voting for an adjournment of the House, his ear ever on the alert always prepared to go at once into the profoundest questions of state or the minutest points or order. We look at him and mark his cold and fearless eye, his stern and abstracted gaze, and conjure up phantoms of other scenes. We look upon a more than king, who has filled every department of honor in his native land, still at his post; he who was the president of millions, now the representative of forty odd thousand, quarrelling about trifles or advocating high principles; to day growling and sneering at the House, with an abolition petition in his trembling hand, and anon lording it over the passions, and lashing the members into the wildest state of enthusiasm by his indignant and emphatic eloquence. Alone unspoken to, unconsulted with others, he sits apart, wrapped in his reveries, or probably he is writing, his almost perpetual employment. He looks enfeebled, but yet he is never tired; worn out, but ever ready for the combat; melancholy, but let a witty thing fall from any member that hazards an arrow at him — the eagle is not swifter in its flight than Mr. Adams; with his agitated finger quivering in sarcastic gesticulation, he seizes upon his foe, and, amid the amazement of the House, rarely fails to take signal vengeance. His stores of knowledge on every subject, garnered up through the course of his extraordinary life, in the well arraigned store house of a memory which is said never to have permitted a single fact to escape it, give him a great advantage over all comers in encounters of this kind. He is a wonderful eccentric genius. He belongs to no party, nor does any party belong to him. He is original, of very peculiar ideas, and perfectly fearless and independent in expressing and maintaining them. His manner of speaking is peculiar; he rises abruptly, his face reddens, and in a moment, throwing himself into the attitude of  a veteran gladiator, he prepares for the attack; then he becomes full of gesticulation, his body sways to and fro self command seems lost, his head is bent forward in his earnestness till it sometimes touches the desk; his voice frequently breaks, but he pursues his subject through all its bearings — nothing daunts him — the House may ring with cries of order — order! unmoved, contemptuous he stands amid the tempest, and like an oak that knows its gnarled and knotted strength, stretches his arm forth and defies the blast.

Alton Observer (Alton, Illinois) Jan 4, 1838


The Hon. John Quincy Adams concluded his argument before the United States Supreme Court, in the Amistad case, with the following touching reminiscence:

May it please your Honor: On the 7th of February, 1804, now more than thirty-seven years past, my name was entered, and yet stands recorded on both the rolls, as one of the attorneys and counselors of this Court. Five years later, in February and March, 1809, I appeared for the last time before this Court, in defense of the cause of justice, and of important rights, in which many of my fellow citizens had property to a large amount at stake. Very shortly afterwards, I was called to the discharge of other duties; first in distant lands, and in later years, within our own country, but in different departments of her Government. —

Little did I imagine that I should ever be required to claim the right of appearing in the capacity of an officer of this Court. Yet such has been the dictate of my destiny; and I appear again to plead the cause of justice, and now of liberty and life, in behalf of many of my fellow-men, before that same Court, which, in a former age, I had addressed in support of rights of property. I stand again, I trust for the last time, before the same Court, “hic castus artemque repeno.” I stand before the same Court, but not before the same judges, nor aided by the same associates, nor resisted by the same opponents. As I cast my eyes along those seats of honor and of public trust, now occupied by you, they seek in vain for one of those honored and honorable persons whose indulgence listened then to to my voice. Marshall, Cushing, Case, Washington, Johnson, Livingston, Todd: where are they? Where is that eloquent statesman and learned lawyer who was my associate counsel in the management of that cause — Robert Goodloe Harper? Where is that brilliant luminary, so long the pride of Maryland and of the American bar, then my opposing counsel — Luther Martin? Where is the excellent clerk of that day, whose name has been inscribed on the shores of Africa, as a monument of his abhorrence to the African slave trade — Elias B. Caldwell? Where is the marshal? Where are the criers of the Court? Alas! where is one of the very judges of the Court, arbiters of life or death, before whom I commenced this anxious argument? Gone! — gone from a world of sin and sorrow, I trust — to that blest abode, “where the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are at rest.” And it is my ardent wish, and fervent prayer, that each and every one of you, may go to this final account with as little of earthly frailty to answer for, as those illustrious dead; and that you may every one, after the close of a long and virtuous career in this world, be received at the portals of the next with the approving sentence: Well done, good and faithful servant; enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.”

Alton Telegraph And Democratic Review (Alton, Illinois) Mar 17, 1848


The anecdotes of he ‘old man eloquent,’ would fill a volume. One of the most touching, and eminently illustrative of the devotedness which his domestic virtues called forth from those in his service, was recently narrated to us in substance as follows:

‘A few years ago, as John Quincy Adams was riding to the capitol, his horses became unmanageable and overturned his coach, dashing the driver, and Irishman, who had long been in Mr. Adams’ employ, with great violence against a post or the corner of a building. He was taken up for dead, and carried to an apartment in the capitol, under the room in which Mr. Adams breathed his last, followed by many persons among them Mr. Adams himself. After some time the injured man was restored to consciousness, and, apparently regardless of his own sufferings, turning his eyes anxiously around, his first words were — ‘Is Mr. Adams safe?’ Mr. Adams replied that he was unhurt. The poor fellow exclaimed, ‘Then I am content,’ and relapsed into an unconscious state. The venerable statesman was deeply moved at his evidence of affectionate regard for his welfare, and tears flowed down his cheeks. The wounded and suffering man was taken to the Patriot’s house, but did not survive until morning. Mr. Adams was engaged to speak in some important cause before the Supreme Court of the United States on that day — it is believed in the Amistad case; but his feelings were such that he went to he Court, and stating the circumstances that had occurred, solicited, as a personal favor, the postponement of the case until the next day, which was accordingly granted. The tokens of mourning were placed on Mr. Adams’ door, as if one of his own family had deceased; and the funeral took place from his house, and under his personal superintendence. Truly has it been said of the illustrious sage, ‘that he concentrated affection at home.’

Salem (Mass.) Register.

American Freeman (Prairieville, Wisconsin) Apr 5, 1848


In July, 1822, a plan for an independent newspaper was proposed to John Quincy Adams by some members of Congress, and the necessity of such a paper was urged upon him with great earnestness. He replied:

“An independent newspaper is very necessary to make truth known to the people; but an editor really independent must have a heart of oak, nerves of iron, and a soul of adamant to carry it through. His first attempt will bring a hornet’s nest about his head; and, if they do not sting him to death or to blindness, he will have to pursue his march with them continually swarming over him, and be beset on all sides with obloquy and slander.”

The Berkshire County Eagle (Pittsfield, Massachusetts) Jan 26, 1860

When John Quincy Adams was elected to the House of Representatives he found that he was the owner of some shares in the United States Bank. Before taking his seat he sold his shares, on the ground that, as a representative of the people, he should not have an interest in any matter that might come before the House for legislation.

What a blessed thing it would be if our members to-day were to be governed by the same sense of honor.

Allen County Democrat (Lima, Ohio) Mar 16, 1876

Image from Ancient Faces

The late Charles Francis Adams believed in himself as well as in his ancestors. Introduced to speak at a political meeting as the grandson of President John Adams, and the son of John Quincy Adams, he at once said: “The fact of my ancestry has been referred to several times during the evening. I am proud of my father and grandfather, but I wish it distinctly understood that I appear before you as myself, and not as the son and grandson of any man.”

He then went on and made one of the most powerful speeches of the day. The moral is obvious. Every tub has its own bottom. Every American it his own ancestor.

Bangor Daily Whig and Courier (Bangor, Maine) Dec 15, 1886

Didn’t Inspire Him.

When Lafayette visited Virginia he was entertained with other eminent guests by President Monroe at Oak Hill. Leesburg, too, the historic town nine miles from Monroe’s country seat, accorded him honors on that occasion, and at a dinner at that town John Quincy Adams delivered a famous toast to the surviving patriots of the Revolution, who, he said, were like the sibylline leaves — the fewer they became the more precious they were.

On the return to Oak Hill another of Monroe’s guests said to Mr. Adams:

“Excuse the impertinence, but would you not tell me what inspired the beautiful sentiment of your toast today?”

“Why,” replied Mr. Adams, “it was suggested this morning by the picture of the sibyl that hangs in the hall of the Oak Hill mansion.”

“How strange!” remarked the less brilliant guest. “I have looked at that picture many times during the past years, and that thought never occurred to me.”

Adams County News (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Jun 25, 1910


Previously Posted:

The Life and Death of John Quincy Adams

Constitution Critics Show Ignorance

December 13, 2011

Constitution Critics Show Ignorance

By James T. Williams, Jr.

UNDER the leadership of the Representative in Congress from the Twentieth New York Congressional District — Mr. Marcantonio — of New York City, who calls himself a Republican, a demand has been issued for the call of a constitutional convention to make over the Constitution of the United States.

Image of LaGuardia and Marcantonio from Spartacus Educational

Mr. Marcantonio, who rattles around in the Congressional shoes formerly worn by the present Mayor of New York City, Mr. LaGuardia, is serving his first term in Congress. Uniting with him in this demand are Congressmen Schneider and Amlie of Wisconsin and Lundeen of Minnesota. The first two call themselves Progressives and the third is a member of the Farmer-Labor party.

These national legislators evidently think very poorly, both of the Constitution and of the Supreme Court of the United States. They attack the latter in this contemptuous language:

In no uncertain terms it (the Supreme Court) has served notice on Congress that the Constitution is not a flexible document to be interpreted liberally and in the light of present-day conditions, but rather an instrument that must be interpreted with relation to the time, conditions, and ox-cart economy of the days when it was written.

This is not a quotation from any decision of the Supreme Court. It cannot be found in any such decision. It is merely an assertion by a group of politicians who are evidently more concerned with misleading the public than they are with telling the truth.

*     *     *

THE Supreme Court took an oath to support the Constitution of the United States as written. It did not take an oath to support the Constitution only in so far as its provisions are approved by Mr. Marcantonio and other political sappers who are dissatisfied with the Constitution as written and seek to supplant it with a new one.

“The Great Tribunal” in a decision handed down in 1905 said in the words of Mr. Justice Brewer:

The Constitution is a written instrument. As such its meaning does not alter. That which is meant when adopted it means now. Being a grant of power to a government, its language is general, and as changes come in social and political life it embraces in its grasp all new conditions which are within the scope of the powers in terms conferred  .  .  .  It must also be remembered that the framers of the Constitutions were not mere visionaries, toying with speculations or theories but practical men, dealing with the facts of political life as they understood them, putting into form the government they were creating, and prescribing in language clear and intelligible the powers that government was to take.

This is the Constitution which the Supreme Court, under its solemn oath, undertakes to interpret.

*     *     *

ILL-INFORMED politicians sometimes make the mistake of saying that the only difference between the American and British constitutions is that the former is a written document and the latter an unwritten body of law. Their error in this regard, is clearly set forth by Mr. Charles Warren in a book on “Congress, the Constitution and the Supreme Court,” [google preview only] which all political sappers in Congress seeking to undermine the Government of the Constitution would do well to read.

Mr. Warren declares that the real difference between the American and British constitutions is that “the American Constitution (the Constitution of the United States and the Constitutions of the several States) are unalterable and unamendable by a majority of the Legislature itself.”

Mr. Marcantonio is within his rights when he advocates the calling of a Constitutional convention to make over the Constitution of the United States. But when he attacks the Supreme Court, or its refusal to make over the Constitution, he either advertises his abysmal ignorance of the American System of Government or his complete contempt for that system.

Making over the Constitution in not the duty of the Supreme Court. That is the exclusive privilege of the American people. And Mr. Marcantonio insults their intelligence if he pretends otherwise.

Rochester Evening Journal (Rochester, New York) Jun 18, 1935

Should Royal Lightning Hit Me

November 30, 2011

Image from The Graphics Fairy


THERE’S a tremble and a shiver and a dark, portentous quiver, that has side-stepped through the vitals of these great United States. For we’re up against a crisis, if there’s truth in our advices, and we see, athwart the future forms of haughty potentates.

YES, sir! Danger grim and murky, like an axe above a turkey, lurks just in the dim horizon, and its shadow will not down. And unless we stop our fooling, after while we’ll know the ruling of the cruel, crafty monarch who is topped off with a crown.

‘TWOULD be easy to arrange it, and we’d never get to change it, once the grasping hands of schemers held our country in its clutch, for the minute we suggested that we felt that we had tested kings and queens and wished to stop it, they would smile and say: “Not much!”

DON’T you see? If they’d abolish congress, with its stately polish, and should overturn the statutes — I shiver when I pen it — they should bounce the solemn senate, then the country’d feel the power of the reckless royal hand.

THEN, by some wild resolution they could down the constitution, and could oust each high official in the states we call our own. Then they’d have us, and they’d boss us, with a grip on our proboscis, and beneath imperialism we would sigh and slave and groan.

THUS, we know not the occasion when we’ll see the dire invasion of our rights as free-born people, be we white or black or brown. Perhaps I, or you, my neighbor, may be called to toil and labor with the scepter and the signet and the heavy golden crown.

I’M opposed to such an outcome, but, should any vexing doubt come as to who should bear the burdens as the ruler of the states — well, should royal lightning hit me, any royal robe would fit me, and a crown to set right easy should be six-and-seven-eighths.

— Josh Wink in Baltimore American.

The Nebraska State Journal (Lincoln, Nebraska) Nov 5, 1900

Prayer and Our Founding Fathers

December 18, 2009

This is from 1888. I had no idea this argument had been going on for so long:


Showing That the Founders of Our Government Were God-Fearing and Praying Men.

It seems as easy to believe bad things about a body of men, as it is to believe them about one man. Indeed, it is somewhat easier. For, if there is even a small portion of charity in our make-up, we will exercise it in favor of one whom we are afraid to slander, whereas we will receive and repeat the same story about a congregation, a convention, or a congress without fear or qualm. And if it is a body of dead men, their reputations are absolutely at our mercy. The classic exhortation, to speak nothing about the dead but praise, is rarely heeded after the first burst of post-mortem eulogy.

It is quite the custom for instance, to think and say that the members of the Continental Congress were not devout men, that they had no regard for prayer as an aid to their deliberations, that they did not take God into the account in discussing the measures and results of the revolution. This is an offense to all believers in a gracious Providence, and it is also a foul libel on the political fathers.

We are gratified, therefore, to note that the learned Judge Bacon, of Utica, N.Y., in a recent historical paper of great general value, has corrected this false and unjust estimate of the Continental Congress. He shows how, on the 7th of September, 1774, when the real business of the body was to begin, a formal request was made for an opening prayer by Rev. Mr. Duche and that gentleman was thanked by resolution for his “excellent” services.

This is more consideration than some modern assemblies show to the divine who invoke God’s blessing on their deliberations. Afterward that same Congress, at ten different times, appointed days for fasting and thanksgiving. The last order of that kind was voted late in October, 1781, when December 15 was declared a day for thanksgiving and prayer on account of Cornwallis’ final overthrow.

When that order was entered, a further evidence of devotion was given by Congress going in a body to the Dutch Lutheran church in Philadelphia, there “to return thanks to Almighty God for crowning the allied armies of the United States and France with success, by the surrender of the whole British army under the command of the Earl Cornwallis.”

Now let the reader call these historic facts to mind, the next time he hears it said that the founders of our Government were not God-fearing men; or that the foundations of the Republic were not laid in prayer.


Spirit Lake Beacon (Spirit Lake, Iowa) Sep 14, 1888

More on the First Prayer in Congress HERE

*Note: I am not affiliated with the above website, I just ran across it when looking for an image and noticed they had more on this topic.

Sap and Salt: Quips and Quotes

November 10, 2009

sap and salt pic
This “column,” which was more a collection of quotes, ran in the papers with the header above during the 1920s. It could have ran longer, I didn’t check.

congressImage from Roger Hollander News and Opinion blog

Instead of investigating crookedness, Congress might look around and see if it can find any honesty.

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Jul 9, 1924


Emotion wins more votes than reason.

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania)  Oct 7, 1924


The only ones who opposed freedom to others are those who are afraid of losing their own.

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Jul 14, 1924


Hez Heck says: “Human nature ain’t never satisfied with a good thing. It monkeys around until it gets something worse.”

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Jul 16, 1924


Air is the only thing on earth that is not bought or sold, but Congress will get around to it one of these days.

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Jul 30, 1924


It is the business of politics to study popular ignorance and work it up into votes.

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Aug 1, 1924


Things done by force are always done wrong.

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Aug 5, 1924


While democracy is hardly safe, profiteers surely are.

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Aug 12, 1924


Hez Heck says: “Civilization is a process that makes men do by stealth what they are naturally inclined to do openly.”

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Aug 25, 1924


The majority is wrong oftener than the minority.

Every time you abridge the rights of others you abridge your own.

If you have no facts to back you up, never mind; you can formulate a “doctrine.”

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Sep 6, 1924

whitehouse pic

Too many of us had rather be admired than respected.

The good will and friendship of a rascal are a heavy liability.

A colossal amount of time is wasted in trying to make truth out of opinion.

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Oct 9, 1924


Authority is coveted by all, but unscrupulous men fairly hanker for it.

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Sep 16, 1924


Hez Heck says: “Truth loses its purity the minute you begin to monkey with it.”

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Sep 26, 1924


It generally happens that a man with many suits of clothes is not burdened with many ideas.

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Jul 12, 1924

Image from


A law-ridden nation is always a tax-ridden nation.

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Oct 10, 1924


When a radical is right he can’t be too radical.

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Sep 18, 1924


The human hand serves two distinct uses: One is to shake with, and he other is to handle a gun.

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Sep 27, 1924


Hez Heck says: “When an enemy praises you, keep your hand on your gun.”

The Gettysburg Times (Gettysburg, Pennsylvania) Jul 11, 1924

Congressional Poetry

July 16, 2009
U.S. Capitol 1906 (Image from

U.S. Capitol 1906 (Image from


How dear to our hearts is our Democratic Congress,
As hopeless inaction presents it to view;
The bill of poor Wilson, the deep tangled tariff,
And every mad pledge that their lunacy knew!
The widespread depression, the mills that closed by it,
The rock of free silver where great Grover fell;
They’ve busted our country, no use to deny it,
And damn the old party, it’s busted as well!

This G. Cleveland Congress,
This Queen Lily Congress,
This wild free trade Congress
We all love so well.

Their moss-covered pledges we no longer treasure,
For often at noon, when our hunting a job,
We find that instead of the corn they had promised,
They’ve given us nothing — not even a cob!
How ardent we cussed ’em with lips overflowing
With sulphurous blessings as great swear words fell.
The emblems of hunger, free trade and free silver,
Are sounding in sorrow the workingman’s knell!

This bank breaking Congress
This mill closing Congress,
This starvation Congress
We all love so well.

How sweet from their eloquent lips to receive it,
Cursed tariff protection no longer uphold.
We listened — and voted our dinner pails empty,
The factories silent, the furnaces cold.
And now far removed from our lost situations,
The tear of regret doth intrusively swell.
We yearn for Republican administration
And sigh for the Congress that served us so well

This Fifty-third Congress
This Democrat Congress
This sugar-cured Congress
We wish was in h—


Sandusky Register (Sandusky, Ohio) Aug 7, 1894


Below, a poem about the 52nd U.S. Congress:

This Glorious Congress.

Now we stand upon the border
Of the doing of a Congress,
Such as we have never heard of;
Such as we had never thought of;
Such a Congress as some Congress
Might have made by legislating,
Or a Poet in his frenzy
Might have captured from his fancy!
Come the member from the forests,
Come the members from the prairies,
From the hills and from the valley,
From the towns and from the cities;
Hayseed here and hayseed yonder;
Sockless statesmen in their glory;
Whiskers, for the wind’s wild whistling;
Sawlogs, waiting for a buzz-saw;
Slouch hats, plug hats, skull caps, derbies,
Silver for the gray cloud’s lining;
Liquor straight, or mixed with water;
Water straight, or mixed with liquor;
Money turned out by the cart-load,
Erstwhile filled with white potatoes;
Money made of straw and fodder;
Yellow money good for something;
These be there and with them standing
Men who work for home protection;
Men who work for foreign products;
Buncombe boomers from the cornfields,
Yearning for appropriations,
Hungry for a public building,
Thirsting for some lock-dammed river;
Anything to get a dollar
For their well-beloved people!
Amateurs as yet in Congress,
Dazzled by its distant splendor,
Every individual member,
Fresh amidst its “arduous labors,”
Zealous to discharge his duty,
Wild to burst in oratory,
Stuck on Fame for future ages.
Greener than a summer pumpkin,
Waiting till on some tomorrow
Some high-toned and august Speaker,
With the rattle of his gavel,
Call this most peculiar Congress,
And likewise other things, to order.


The News (Frederick, Maryland) Dec 10, 1891