Them Women Bandits

Image from Stumbling Virtue

THEM WOMEN BANDITS

Now the headlines in the papers tell us daily
That the “weaker sex” is learning how to shoot;
And the ugly mug who holds us up sa gaily
May just as well turn out to be a beaut.
From coast to coast the little bullets patter,
And they do not always have the aim so pat,
But they generally pull a line of chatter,
You can always tell the women guns by that.

When a gentleman is held up by a lady
On a lonely country highway late at night,
And she aims an automatic at his cady
And stops his car and tells him to alight;
When she swings him for his watch and chain and boodle
(And this may happen any night to you).
If he does not want a bullet through his noodle,
Pray, what is any gentleman to do?

For you cannot best a lady even slightly,
And if you strike a woman you’re no gent,
You must stand and take your medicine politely
And with a genteel protest be content.

Middletown Daily Herald (Middletown, New York) Oct 9, 1923

NEW YORK, Dec. 7. — (AP) — Another “bobbed haired bandit” has started work in New York. As her four male companions, armed with automatic pistols, held up the proprietor and 12 patrons of the Joy Inn, Brooklyn, the counterpart of Celia Cooney, now in Auburn prison, sat at a table calmly smoking a cigarette. Once or twice she nodded her crisp bobbed head in approval as the victims yielded money and jewelry.

When the holdup was finished and $500 had been stolen from the cash register and from guests, who had been torn from their women companions, the girl led the retreat to a side street, where the party entered an automobile and disappeared toward Manhattan.

The girl, described as an attractive brunette, was about 25.

Celia Cooney, the original bobbed hair bandit, whose exploits became known nation-wide, was arrested with her husband, Edward, in April 1924, and both were sentenced to from 10 to 20 years in prison. They had participated in more than 10 robberies at the pistol point and in one instance wounded a man.

Oakland Tribune (Oakland, Californina) Dec 7, 1925

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*Hm, I wonder what the “Joy Inn” was, exactly; and if the “guests” went home to tell their wives how they lost their money, lol.

Not the “Johnny Appleseed” You Were Looking For

Image from Cask

Fort Wayne Sentinel (Fort Wayne, Indiana) Aug 10, 1894

FRIDAY.

William Coughlin, familiarly known as “Johnny Appleseed,” was sentenced to two years in the penitentiary. A few weeks ago, he stole $50 from Frank Pulver, of Huntertown, and it was on this charge that he was convicted.

Fort Wayne Weekly Gazette (Fort Wayne, Indiana) Nov 12, 1896

William Coughlin, alias, “Johnny Appleseed,” was arrested for drunkenness. He was in a belligerent mood last evening and smashed Officer Romy in the face. Squire France sent him to jail for nineteen days.

The Fort Wayne Sentinel (Fort Wayne, Indiana) Jul 14, 1899

Judge Louttit had easy picking at police court this morning, having only two victims of the night force to spose. “Johnny Appleseed” protested vigorously against being called nicknames in court and insisted that his name is William Coughlin. When asked under that name to enter a plea to a charge of drunkenness, he pleaded guilty.

He says he is no appleseed, nor hayseed either, but is a retired gentleman who drinks at leisure and drinks as often as opportunity affords. The judge told him to take a leisure spell of eleven days and think the matter over.

Jack Case was the other easy mark. Jack was sent over two weeks ago to serve a term for drunkenness. There was another affidavit against him at the time of his first trial for assault and battery on his sister-in-law. On the latter charge he was brought from the jail to police court, and on his plea of guilty was given another eleven days.

The Fort Wayne Sentinel (Fort Wayne, Indiana) Aug 21, 1901

There was a large grist at police court this morning. The venerable Johnny Appleseed, the survivor of more hard fought battles with the booze king than any man in Fort Wayne, made his semi-occasional appearance. Johnny’s return engagement this time was after a shorter interval than usual and he rather hesitatingly admitted to the judge that it had been only ten days since he had faced his honor before.

“But,” said Johnny, in his most persuasive tone, “ef you’ll let me off this time I’ll git right out of town and I’ll niver come back.”

“What do you mean by never?” asked the court. “Niver so long as you’re in office an’ a sittin’ up there.”

Johnny evidently does not know that the judge will be a candidate for re-election in four years, but his story and his promise went with the court.

“I’ll just fine you ten dollars,” said the judge, “and have a mittimus made out for you and the next time the officers catch you in town they’ll take you right over for twenty days, without going to the trouble of bringing you up here. Meantime I will suspend sentence; now do you understand what I mean?”

“I doos, I doos, tank you, tank you!” and Johnny slid out.

The Fort Wayne Sentinel (Fort Wayne, Indiana) Sep 10, 1901

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Police News.

Officer Elliott last night found Johnny Appleseed lying in front of the fire engine house on East Main street. Johnny was in a badly intoxicated condition and the officer took him to headquarters.

The Fort Wayne Journal and Gazette (Fort Wayne, Indiana) Nov 21, 1903

A sure sign of spring showed up yesterday when Johnny Coughlin, familiarly known as “Johnny Appleseed,” blew into the city. It is his wont to remain in the country during the winter and to migrate to the city in the spring. He was given shelter at the police station and, if he follows his usual custom, he will be the occupant of a cell before many days. Johnny is a queer character, of the Sunny Jim type, but his love for drink usually lands him in jail at stated intervals.

The Fort Wayne Journal Gazette (Fort, Wayne, Indiana) Apr 6, 1906

Police headquarters last night got a call that an old soldier was lying drunk in a yard on East Lewis street. Patrolman Elliott responded to the call and found that the supposed soldier was Johnny Coughlin, a police character, who is known as “Johnny Appleseed.”

The officer started Johnny towards his home at the county infirmary and returned to headquarters just in time to investigate a call from Clinton street that an old soldier was lying drunk in a yard.

Going to the place, the officer again found Johnny and decided to take him to the station in order to preserve  the reputation of the veterans.

The Fort Wayne Journal Gazette (Fort Wayne, Indiana) May 22, 1907

Apple Stealing

APPLE STEALING.

This is the season when the farmer turns loose his dog for the purpose of scaring the young miscreants who come out from the city to steal his apples.

The farmer does not have any objection to the boys getting a few apples, but he objects to having his trees broken down by the young rascals. There are so few apples this year that every one counts and the less that are stolen the more the farmer will have to fill up the barrels that must be fewer than usual on account of those pests, the caterpillars.

Of course, the small boy is the same throughout the broad land, but there are so many more of them near the cities that they make the life of the farmer anything but pleasant, who lives in the suburbs.

Portsmouth Herald (Portsmouth, New Hampshire) Sep 13, 1899

Always for Some — The Last Day of School

The First Day of School is…

Always for Some…

The Last.

Syracuse Herald (Syracuse, New York) Sep 4, 1934

Public Humiliation

for

Endangering Children’s Lives

Olean Evening Times (Olean, New York) Nov 17, 1924

Evenhanded Science

Image from Twister Sifter – Vintage Mugshots

EVENHANDED SCIENCE

By James J. Montague

The burglar made small trouble through the years
When he wholly was dependent on himself,
For he wasn’t very wide between the ears
And he made a rather trifling plie of pelf.
With a jimmy and a blackjack as his aids
And his finger prints to leave a glaring trail
It was seldom that his bold, nocturnal raids
Did not land him very shortly, in a jail.

But when science learned the use of T N T —
When it found out how to make a diamond drill
Then the yegg man and the thug began to see
The advantage of enlightened modern skill.
In the reading rooms were found the leading crooks
Spending many earnest hours at a time
In perusing all the scientific books
Which would aid them in the latest arts of crime.

Now, proficient in the chemist’s highest art,
Knowing how to blow a safe without a sound
How to pry  the very strongest vault apart
Without wakening a single soul around.
And to glove their hands before they start a job
So they will not leave behind a finger print,
They may confidently undertake to rob
Any safe that isn’t guarded like a mint.

Science has no pets among the human race —
She supplies the good with moving picture shows
She has scattered automobiles every place
She has cut down trees to fashion silken hose.
She has showered lavish gifts on you and me
And, though giving her her just and honest due,
Any thinking man can hardly fail to see
That the criminal has benefitted, too.

Montana Standard (Butte, Montana) Sep 17, 1928

Image from Kitchy Kitchy Coo

Thief Defeated By Bullet

Image from American Firearms

THIEF DEFEATED BY BULLET THAT FELLS HIM IN HIS TRACKS

Onawa Merchant Shoots When Crook Orders Him To Throw Up His Hands.

Onawa, Ia., Aug. 13. — I.A. Blotcky, a local merchant, shot and killed a highwayman almost at the door of his home here at 10:30 o’clock Saturday evening. Mr. Blotcky had for some time made it a practice to carry Saturday’s cash receipts home with him in a sack, invariably holding a loaded .32 calibre revolver just under his coat in the other hand. At the time of the shooting he carried $1,200 in a bag.

Just as he was turning into his lawn, a man stepped out from behind a tree commanding Blotcky to throw up his hands. As he raised his hands, as if in compliance, Mr. Blotcky fired and the robber fell, the bullet having taken effect in the left eyeball and passed through his brain.

The unknown man died in half an hour. After the shooting, Blotcky informed Sheriff George Martin.

The would-be robber had been seen hanging around town for several days before the shooting. He had been with two companions and pretended to be seeking work in the harvest fields.

J.B. Richard and Gus Danielson, of the Sioux City detective force, have been here and procured pictures of the dead man in the hope of establishing his identity, no papers having been found in his pockets. Detective Richard found $50 in bills in a secret pocket.

Mr. Blotcky has been exonerated by a coroner’s jury. His father, Joseph Blotcky, of Sioux City, was here yesterday.

Bayard Advocate (Bayard, Iowa) Aug 15, 1912

Image from Wisconsin Historical Society

Young doctors working in the cause of science, now cut to bits all that is left mortal of the robber who was shot last week at Onawa when he attempted to hold up I.A. Blotcky, who carried $200. Society may be better off without him, as the papers say, but just the same, somewhere probably a mother is standing at the back gate watching the train’s arrival to bring home her wandering son.

Correctionville News (Correctionville, Iowa) Aug 22, 1912

Impeach Him Now

Image from DRUDGE REPORT- The Executive Privilege

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THE GOAT

By Arthur Guiterman

If Wall Street grabbed your final cent,
That’s right, impeach the President.
If Europe seethes with discontent,
Denounce the cause — our President.
If China lacks a government,
Reprove our laggard President.
If industry seems hellward bent,
One can’t forgive the President.
You don’t see where your money went?
Investigate the President.
If all you had is rashly spent,
You’d best accuse the President.
If malefactors won’t repent,
Inveigh against the President.
If all the world is indigent,
Who made it so? Our President’
For droughts and wars are consequent
On blunders by the President.
So give your feelings proper vent
By growling at the President.
IT helps us all and pays the rent
To sit and blame the President.

Bessemer Herald (Bessemer, Michigan) Jun 17, 1932

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Desperado and Cigar Smoking Girl Slain

Clyde Barrow and his gunwoman companion, Bonnie Parker, were shot and killed today by Texas and Louisiana officers who beat them to the trigger pull.

Their crime career ended in a blaze of riot gun fire when, disregarding a command to halt and unable to get their weapons into play, the desperado and his cigar smoking girl were riddled with bullets as they drove their car past ambushed officers at 85 miles an hour.

The car careened into an embankment and was wrecked.

In the wreckage the officers found both bodies riddled with bullets. Bonnie was almost doubled over the machine gun she held in her lap. Barrow’s broken body was twisted behind the steering wheel, a revolver gripped in one hand.

The Lincoln Star (Lincoln, Nebraska) May 23, 1934

Driver of a Night Lunch Robbed

Image from the Culinary Arts Museum

HELD UP HIS CART.
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Driver of a Night Lunch Robbed and Roughly Treated.
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THREE MASKED MEN DID THE JOB.
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Pounded Victim on the Head With Revolver to Secure Diamond Ring.

Providence, April 25. — A holdup occurred this morning in the center of the city, and upon one of the main thoroughfares, brilliantly illuminated by are lights and traversed by those coming in from the country with milk and produce.

The victim was Thomas Havens, proprietor of a night lunch cart. He started for home at 3 o’clock this morning, and at 3.15 was slowly driving up Promenade street. As he stood looking out the front window of his cart he noticed three men  standing on the sidewalk. When he was abreast this group, one of the men seized the horse by the bridle.

Havens used his whip on the horse, but the highwayman had made sure of his grip, and as he held the horse fast the other two men opened the side door of the cart and jumped in. All the men wore handkerchiefs over their faces and each had a loaded revolver.

Havens was made to hold up his hands, and as he did so one of the gang went through his pockets and took a gold watch and chain valued at $125 and a roll of $20 in bills.

Then the highwaymen attempted to force a diamond ring from his finger. In doing so they pulled his hand down, and one of the gang, thinking that Havens was about to offer resistance, struck him on the forehead with the butt of his revolver.

The victim was then told to lie down and give up his ring. This he did, and the highwaymen left him.

When he thought he could safely do so Havens drove to the sixth police station, and made a complaint. IT was then nearly 4 o’clock.

The police were sent out and obtained a slight clew. Two of the highwaymen were seen on Atwell’s avenue, and the other on Harris avenue. This, it is believed, will lead to the identification of the men, as the person who saw them gives a good description of all three.

Portsmouth Herald (Portsmouth, New Hampshire) Apr 26, 1899

An Adventure with Foot Pads

Image from New York Times Crossword in Gothic

AN ADVENTURE WITH FOOT-PADS.

On the evening of the 3d inst., as Mr. Anthony Maynard, of the firm of Barrows & Maynard, Pittsfield, was passing through a lonely piece of woods between Canaan, N.Y., and Richmond, the head of his horse was seized by two men so firmly that he could not break away from them.

Mr. Maynard, jumping out of his wagon, was greeted by a blow of a club, but succeeded in wresting it from his assailant, and using it to so good advantage that he laid the rascal senseless. In the meantime, he was seized from behind by the second robber, and finding the club useless, threw it into the bushes, and clutching him by the neck-cloth, brought his antagonist between himself and his horse, and continued “whaling” him “in the natural manner” — a la member of Congress — until he thought him about tame enough to take into his wagon as passenger for Lenox.

This praise-worthy design was frustrated by the recovery of the first robber, when Mr. Maynard, finding himself  “out of breath” from his efforts in the cause of humanity, and his assailants being two to one and in loose dress, while he was cumbered with a heavy overcoat, concluded very truly that no imputation would rest upon his character for pluck if he jumped into his wagon and made for Richmond, — and he did it. We have no accurate notes of the time his horse made on the road.

Mr Maynard was informed at Richmond that a foot-peddler was robbed of a gold watch, some money, and other valuable articles, at the same place the previous week, besides being badly beaten.

The Berkshire County Eagle (Pittsfield, Massachusetts) Feb 12, 1858

Title: The Guardian, Volumes 32-33
Author: Reformed Church in the United States
Publisher: H. Harbaugh, 1881
Page 11

Image from Art of the Print

Two Footpads

TWO Footpads sat at their grog in the roadside resort, comparing the evening’s adventures.

“I stood up the Chief of Police,” said the First Footpad, “and I got away with what he had.”

“And I,” said the Second Footpad, “stood up the United States District Attorney, and got away with —-”

“Good Lord!” interrupted the other in astonishment and admiration —” you got away with what that fellow had?”

“No,” the unfortunate narrator explained — “with a small part of what I had.”

Title: Fantastic Fables
Author: Ambrose Bierce
Publisher: G. P. Putnam’s sons, 1898
Page 92