The Tee Total Pledge

THE PICTURE. —

Note 1, the object at which they are aiming, viz, the removal of a nuisance, — the total overthrow of the rum casks. All the parties engaged seem to have this object in view, and all are laboring in their respective ways to accomplish it.

Note 2, the different kinds of instruments used for the purpose. Every one must be struck with the admirable adaptedness of the Teetotalers‘ fixtures to accomplish the object. Here is a fulcrum with a broad base, immovably fixed at a suitable distance, upon a solid foundation; lever of suitable size and length is nicely adjusted under the nuisance, and rests upon this fulcrum. Our teetotal men throw their weight upon the extreme end of the lever, and it would seem as certain as the laws of mechanics that the whole range of rum casks must tilt over.

But just as they begin to exult in the prospect of certain success by their admirable contrivance, one of them hastily cries out, “Hold, hold, neighbors, not too fast. You fulcrum is too near; I am afraid you will do injury to our cause by this precipitate measure. Let me place my moderation fulcrum under the lever, a little further back. We must be cautious, gentlemen, that we don’t injure the cause. Bear away upon my fulcrum while I hold on and steady it.”

These honest and zealous neighbors, ever ready to do any thing to remove the evil, again throw their whole weight upon the lever. They pull, and tug, and sweat, till they almost break the lever itself. But the rum casks stand firm; they budge not an inch. The moderation man persists in holding on to his fulcrum, and insists upon it that his plan is the only one that can succeed.

Now is it not perfectly apparent that all efforts upon “moderation” are utterly useless, and that the strength expended by it is lost.

Is it not then perfectly evident, that Mr. Moderation, however well meant his efforts, is in reality standing in  the way of more effectual measures, and doing more hurt than good to the cause.

Is it not also as clear as noonday, that if we would succeed, “moderation” should be laid aside, and all our efforts concentrated upon the “teetotal pledge.”

We commend the above illustration to the consideration of our moderate friends. It certainly contains matter for their serious reflection.

Alton Observer (Alton, Illinois) Jul 20, 1837

Image from the Melissa Launay Fine Arts website.

From the New England Spectator.
TEMPERANCE CELEBRATION.

The Temperance dinner and celebration was held at the Marlboro’ hotel, which was opened on that day, by Mr. Rogers. Mr. Fletcher, member of Congress from this district, presided.

We were much gratified to find such an array of talent and influence at a tee-total dinner, on the 4th of July, and at the opening of a tee-total hotel. It augurs well to the cause. Among others, were the editors of the Advocate and Mercantile Journal, Mr. Hallett and Mr. Sleeper; of the Clergy, Rev. Dr. Pierce, Mr. Pierpont, Mr. Taylor, Mr. Stow, Mr. N. Adams, Mr. Colman, Mr. Clough, &c.; and of other distinguished citizens, John Tappan, Moses Grant, Stephen Fairbanks, Dr. Walter Channing, &c.; and Mr. Snelling and others of the legal profession. There was a degree of hilarity suited to the occasion; and we did not see but that the inspiration of wit and poetry was as well excited by cold water as it usually is by wine.

At the close of the dinner, the following appropriate old composed for the occasion by Rev. Mr. Pierpont, was sung:

In Eden’s green retreats,
A water-brook, that played
Between soft, mossy seats
Beneath a plane-tree’s shade,
Whose rustling leaves
Danced o’er its brink, —
Was Adam’s drink,
and also Eve’s.

Beside the parent spring
Of that young brook, the pair
Their morning chant would sing;
And Eve, to dress her hair,
Kneel on the grass
That fringed its side,
And make its tide
Her looking glass.

And when the man of God
From Egypt led his flock,
They thirsted, and his rod
Smote the Arabian rock
And forth a rill
Of water gushed,
And on they rushed,
And drank their fill.

Would Eden thus have smiled
Had wine to Eden come?
Would Horeb’s parching wild
Have been refreshed with rum?
and had Eve’s hair
Been dressed in gin,
Would she have been
Reflected fair?

Had Moses built a still,
And dealt out to that host,
To every man his gill,
And pledged him in a toast,
How large a band,
Of Israel’s sons
Had laid their bones
In Canaan’s land?

“Sweet fields, beyond” death’s flood
“Stands dressed in living green;”
For, from the throne of God,
To freshen all the scene.
A river rolls,
Where all who will
May come and fill
Their crystal bowls.

If Eden’s strength and bloom
COLD WATER thus hath given,
If, even beyond the tomb,
It is the drink of Heaven,
Are not good wells,
And chrystal springs
The very things,
For our HOTELS?

Alton Observer (Alton, Illinois) Jul 27, 1837

Image from the Ohio History Central website.

BOYS, DO YOU HEAR THAT? —

There is a society of young ladies in Hartford, who pledge themselves not to receive the addresses of any young man who has not signed the tee-total pledge.

At a temperance meeting, not long since, a fair one offered the pledge to her friend, saying, “John, will you sign that?”

He hesitated, and finally declined. “Then,” said she, “you will understand, I shall not be at home next Sunday evening.“

Madison Express (Madison, Wisconsin) Apr 14, 1842

‘The moon,’ said a total-abstinence orator, ‘is not quite ‘tee tee total,’ but she lets her ‘Moderation’ be known to all men, for she only ‘fills her horn once a month.

‘Then she fills it with something very strong;’ observed a by stander, ‘for I’ve often seen her half gone.’

‘Ay,’ said another, ‘and I have seen her ‘full.”

Tioga Eagle (Wellsboro, Pennsylvania) Jul 13, 1842

Image from Karen’s Whimsy

“A frog,” says Professor Pump, “is an amphibious animal, as vat likers on cold water, consequently he inwented the teetotal society. He always walks with a jump he does; and ven he sits down he has to stand up. Being a lover of native melodoes, he gives free concerts every night, he does himself. He perwides music for the millyon which he has been so called because it is usually heard in the mill pond. He is a varmint wot aint so bad when broiled on a griddle. No sir ree.“

Rock River Pilot (Watertown, Wisconsin) Jul 5, 1848

Image from the National Women’s History Museum website.

Maine Liquor Law.

(CONCLUDED FROM THE LAST.)
[excerpt]

It is worthy of note that a large proportion of the Tee-totalers when they go a journey, leave their tee-total principles at home and become temperance men, and take a little wine or brandy occasionally for the stomach’s saxe and their many infirmities. Again it is asserted that a large majority of the people in the State are in favor of the Maine Law. —

Democratic State Register (Watertown, Wisconsin) Mar 15, 1852

MARCH OF MIND. —

An honest farmer in this State married a Miss from a fashionable boarding-school, for his second wife. He was struck dumb with her eloquence, and gaped with wonder at his wife’s learning.

“You may, said he, bore a hole through the solid airth, and chuck in a mill-stone, and she will tell you to a shavin’ how long the stone will be going clean threw. She has kimistery and cockneylogy, and talks a heap about ox hides and chimical affinities.

I used to think that it was air I sucked in every time I expired, howsomever, she telled me that she knew better — she telled me that I had been sucking in two kinds of gin! ox gin and high gin! I’m a tumble town tee total temperance man, and yet have been drinking ox gin, and high gin all my life.”

The Adams Sentinel (Gettsyburg, Pennsylvania) Nov 28,  1860

From Wiki

Teetotal Huzza.

BY JOHN ASQUITH.

As I rambled about one fine summers night,
I passed by some children who sung with delight,
And this was their ditty they sang at their play,
Teetotal forever, teetotal huzza.

Our fathers were sots, they had learned to love ale,
Our mothers were ragged, and their faces were pale;
The teetotal breeze blew their rags all away,
Teetotal forever, teetotal huzza.

Our bonnets were torn, and our shoes went click clack;
Our frocks went to uncles and could not get back;
But master Teetotaler did fetch them away,
Teetotal forever, teetotal huzza.

Our houses were naked, we had scarcely a chair,
The strong drink had broken the  crockery ware,
We have now chairs, and tables, and china so gay,
Teetotal forever, teetotal huzza.

We lived on dry bread, and just what we could get,
And if we had nothing we scarcely durst fret.
We have now beef and pudding, on each Sabbath day,
Teetotal forever, teetotal huzza.

We lived in deep sorrow, and darkness, and strife,
And who knows the ills of a drunkard’s child’s life.
But now we are happy, can dance, sing and play,
Teetotal forever, teetotal huzza.

Cedar Falls Gazette (Cedar Falls, Iowa) Feb 12, 1869

A water-spout — A teetotal lecture.

Indiana Progress (Indiana, Prennsylvania) Jan 29, 1874