Posts Tagged ‘tobacco’

Circling Through My Ruddy Nose

July 24, 2010


HAIL, Tobacco, queen of flowers,
Solace of my lonely hours,
Fume that fuddles as it flows,
Circling through my ruddy nose.
Let others boast of joys of soul
That kindle o’er the flowing bowl,
Or fancy raptures, as they sip
Balmy, sweets from Lesbia’s lip;
Sweeter far the fume that flows,
Circling through my ruddy nose.
Vulgar souls may deem that noses
Were only made for smelling roses;
Smokers, true to nature’s plan,
Feel the dignity of man,
And use their nose as a stack o’
Chimnies to expel tobacco
Herb divine for thee shall rise
Clouds of incense to the skies;
O’er thy notaries’ brains shall flit
Many a sooter kin of wit,
And noses yet unborn shall shine
With radiance luminous as mine.
Whether from hooker, pipe or quill
Thy fumes ascend, I love thee still,
Whatever shape thou deign’st to wear,
Long-cut, short-cut, shag, segar,
There’s not a whiff of thee but goes
A short or long cut thro my nose.
Hail, tobacco, Queen of Flowers,
Solace of my lonely hours,
Fume that fuddles as it flows,
Circling through my ruddy nose.

Ohio Repository, The (Canton, Ohio) Jun 6, 1822

Image from the following book:

Title: A paper:- of Tobacco, Treating of Smoking, by Joseph Fume
Author: William Andrew Chatto
Published: 1839
(Google book LINK)

Wacky Tobacky – Ha! The Jokes on Him

April 14, 2010

The Fitchburg Sentinel (Fitchburg, Massachusetts) Jan 11, 1829

A little late for April Fool’s, but this appears to be a play on the old “kick me” sign. It’s hard to believe that prank was being pulled way back in 1829! Even funnier, is that he is placing the sign on the man’s rear-end, which reminds me of the old saying, “getting your _ _ _ chewed.” heh!

The Tobacco Argument

September 23, 2009

“Down in Indian Territory something happened that gave the moralists grounds for a tirade against the use of tobacco and the other side grounds for argument in favor. A squaw who had began the use of tobacco at the age of 13, died at the age of 114. How long would she have lived had she began using tobacco at 10 or even 11?

Nevada State Journal (Reno, Nevada) Jan 9,  1931

Smoking Monkeys and the Bard’s Gaudeamus

June 17, 2009

Lines on Man.

Way back in those archaic days when time for man got ripe,
A tailless ape set on a tree and smoked a penny pipe,
And as he smoked, lo, thought began.
He knew that he enjoyed,
(Be not surprised at this — you see, that ape was anthropoid.)
Thus thought began, and thought is all that makes a man;
So be it known that thus in smoke the human race begain.
But mark how in a circle move all sublunary things;
Events, like smoke, resolve themselves into expanding rings;
And as the monkey’s pipe made thought, and thought created man,
The cigarette shall take him back to just where he began.

The News (Frederick, Maryland)  Jun 20,  1891

Don’t believe the naysayers, these people have irrefutable proof that smoking is good for your health!

From the Augusta Medical Journal.

It may be interesting to our readers to learn that the London Lancet, probably the greatest medical authority in the world, strongly advocated smoking tobacco in rooms, especially damp ones, in order to kill the bacilli, microbes and disease germs  therein abounding. Very few rooms are free from these unwelcome visitors, but their virulence can be destroyed or lessened by tobacco smoke. It is especially deadly to the microbes of catarrh and diphtheria, which are so frequently found in damp rooms. We take occasion to recommend this to professors and students in colleges, and to all who are engaged in any indoor sedentary occupation. Statistics have irrefutably proved, time and time again, that smokers enjoy a longer and healthier life than non-smokers; a fact which our own observation of life around us leads us to believe. We warmly advocate, then, indoor smoking.

The News (Frederick, Maryland) Jun 22, 1891

The Bard’s Gaudiamus.
And now that Summer soft and sweet
Has in its gentle zephyr wound us,
And by its tender charms complete
So dearly to itself has bound us.
I sit me at the foot of day
All merged into the twilight’s witching.
And watch the fire-fly at its play,
With brilliant sparks the dusk enriching;
And with the smoke of my cigar
I fashion forth a thousand fancies,
That bear me near or bear me far —
Now upward with ambition’s glances,
Now to the quiet wooded nooks,
Now by the ocean’s foaming surges,
Now to the memory of my books,
Now here, now there, where humor urges;
Now to a dream of one fair face —
Ah, eyes of blue so strangely luring’
And then — Well, then, dear God of Grace,
Why mayn’t this last be all enduring’
But far beyond the smoke’s faint ends,
Whose mists do not my vision mar,
I see a group of my good friends
And thank them much for this cigar.

— The Bentztown Bard.

The News (Frederick, Maryland) Jul 9, 1891


I guess the Bentztown Bard was not happy with the above impersonator.

Now, isn’t it truly awful
That somebody, anxious for fame,
Should in a manner unlawful
Write masculine verse in my name!
And with it, O, shades of the South!
Should boldly and to a degree
Put a cigar into the mouth
Of a delicate lady like me!

–The Bentztown Bard.

The News (Frederick, Maryland) Jul 13, 1891

Link to the English translation of the Gaudeamus Igitur with a music clip.