Such as…

QUITS.

Said a young and tactless husband
To his inexperienced wife,
“If you would but give up leading
Such a fashionable life,
And devote more time to cooking —
How to mix and when to bake —
Then perhaps you might make pastry
Such as mother used to make.”

And the wife, resenting, answered
(For the worm will turn, you know),
“If you would but give up horses
And a score of clubs or so
To devote more time to business —
When to buy and what to stake —
Then perhaps you might make money
Such as father used to make.”

Portsmouth Herald (Portsmouth, New Hampshire) Apr 25, 1899